Tick Tock
by TrueEnglishRose
Summary: She wanted a baby, but didn't exactly go through the conventional way to have one and now she has to deal with the family, including Edward. Written purely for laughs. Edward and Bella.
1. Chapter 1

~(*)~

.

"Good afternoon, this is Bella from 'Books, Buns and Beyond.' How may I help you?"

Oh fuck, reality just hit.

My shop's name sounded like a porn shop. Bella's buns? I shuddered at the thought.

"Bella, it's me." I swore I could actually hear her bounce up and down. She was a skittish version of Tigger.

"Oh hi 'me,' are you ok?" Alice giggled at my reply to her, but then her tone swapped to a serious one.

"Nope and you won't be soon either." What the hell has she done now? I hated it when she used this tone. Hang on; she was taking Lizzy to the park. Panic and bile rose in my throat.

"What do you mean? Is Lizzy ok?"

"She had a _little_ bit of an accident at the park, she's ok, just some scrapes and bruises, but I took her to the ER anyway just to be sure," Alice replied in a rushed voice.

"For Christ sake Ali, you have had her for two hours!" This happens every time they go out, why I let them out together I will never know.

"Hey, it's not my fault she inherited your 'klutz' gene."

"Ok, I'm on my way," I huffed as I grabbed my purse from under the counter. Luckily I didn't have any customers in.

"Bell-." I knew she was going to say something else, but I didn't have the time to talk to her, so I hung up. I locked up the shop and headed to the hospital. I swore that if she ended up here once more this year they were going to suspect me of something. Lizzy had indeed inherited my 'klutz' gene, as Ali called it, and I felt so sorry for her.

I finally pulled up to a space and parked up. I walked into the ER and approached the nurses' station.

"Hello, it's me again." I'd lived in this town long enough to know Mrs. Cope, the receptionist, personally.

"Hello again, Bella." She grinned at me and I knew what she was thinking.

"How is she?" I groaned, dropping my head onto the desk in front of me.

"It's nothing that won't heal itself in a few days, _if_ she stays off of the skateboards." Oh god.

"You're kidding me?"

"Nope."

"Room number?" I huffed after I finished filling in some forms. Personally, I think that they should just keep a photo copy of them all.

"Room 1591," she said with a smirk as she pointed down the corridor.

"Thank-you."

I walked down the corridor while still huffing. I think I might superglue Lizzy's feet to the floor, at least then she wouldn't end up hurting herself.

"Honestly, I don't know how you manage to end up here more than me. And Ali, what were you thinking? You know she's like me, why on earth did you let her on a skateboard?" I rambled on as I took my coat off and walked over to the bed that Lizzy was sat on.

"How are you sweet pea?" I asked as I bent down to give her a kiss.

"I'm fine momma, I had fun," she replied with a huge smile.

"Yeah, until you came in here." I glared at Alice.

"Bel-la," Alice sang with the biggest grin on her face imaginable.

"What Al-i? Don't think you have got away with this, I'm still cross with you," she tried to mouth something to me, but I didn't have a clue what she was getting at.

"What?"

"S-D," she hissed jerking her head toward the door I just came in. I turned round and froze, literally and metaphorically, froze to the spot.

"Oh shit!"

"Momma, you said a bad word." Yeah, like that was the biggest problem I had right at this moment.

"Hi, Miss Swan, I'm Dr Cullen."

_**~ (*) ~ FLASH BACK ~ (*) ~**_

"_I want a baby," I said calmly as I took a mouthful of my morning coffee. _

_Alice's reaction was exactly how I imagined it would be, but it still didn't prepare me enough for the mess she would make. She sprayed her coffee across the table and unluckily right into my lap. I must remember not to tell her shocking news when she had a mouthful of fluids._

"_Come again?" She asked as her eyes bulged from their sockets and her jaw hung slack. I couldn't help but grin at her. It was a very rare occurrence that I actually rendered her speechless, so I was going to enjoy this as much as I could. _

"_You are so going to clean this up before the next lot of customers comes in," I said to her while pointing at the splattered coffee covered table._

"_And you are going to wash my jeans," I continued with a mock scowl. _

"_Oh hell no, back track, you want a what?" She glared at me and I swear that if she were standing, her hands would be on her hips with her foot tapping incessantly._

"_I want a baby," I repeated myself carefully and clearly, watching her eyebrows rise in shock._

"_What drugs are you on?" _

"_I'm not on any drugs Alice; you should know that by now." _

"_I don't understand." _

"_Alice, I'm 24, I need a baby."_

"_Why? I mean don't get me wrong, I like babies, but why now?"_

"_Because I'm not getting any younger."_

"_What? Bella you're 24 for fucks sake, women are having babies into their 40's, and you have plenty of time."_

"_I know that Alice, but I don't want to be in my mid 40's, chasing after a baby and have hardly any energy or whatever to keep up." _

"_So you want a baby when you're 24 so you will have more energy?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_You're missing one thing."_

"_What?"_

"_A man."_

"_I don't need one."_

"_Bella, I know you did biology 101, I know you know how things work, and you kinda need a man."_

"_Well I know I need one, but I don't _need _one, if you get what I mean."_

"_Nope, you lost me on the part where you don't need a man bit."_

"_Sperm donation."_

"_You have got to be joking?" She laughed at me._

"_Nope, I looked it up. You just look for a decent fertility clinic, choose the sperm and get it put in."_

"_Bella, you make it sound like a vending machine."_

"_I suppose it's not that different."_

"_But what about romance, love, marriage?"_

"_What about it? I don't need romance or marriage."_

"_And what about love?"_

"_I will love the baby and it will love me."_

"_I meant love from a man."_

"_Oh please Alice! Did you know 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce?"_

"_You can't keep fucking your rabbit Bella; you waste too many batteries for a start…"_

"_I use rechargeable if you must know."_

"_A, that was TMI even for me and B, you need companionship as well as love from a man."_

"_But I have you for that."_

"_Bella, at least think it over, please. This is a huge step."_

"_I have thought it over. I want to do it Alice."_

"_Fine, but will you at least talk to a professional before you go ahead and do it on your own?"_

"_I'm not doing it on my own; I have you, don't I?"_

"_Of course you do sweetie."_

"_Good, because we have an appointment next Thursday."_

"_We?"_

"_Yeah, I really need you to come to this appointment with me."_

"_Why do you have those puppy dog eyes going on, Bella?"_

"_Well, I kinda put you down as my girlfriend…"_

"_WHAT!"_

"_Well, it would look better if we went as a couple than if I went as a single woman, don't you think?"_

"_Talk about dropping me in at the deep end Bella."_

"_Alice, it's not like we have to do anything when we get there."_

"_I fucking hope not."_

_**~*0*~**_

_The following Tuesday came around quickly and I was comfortably sitting down with a coffee before starting work._

"_Bella, pack up. You have an appointment with a Mr. Whitlock in an hour."_

"_Who the hell is that?"_

"_He's a counselor who deals with couples who have fertility issues," she smiled at me and I rolled my eyes. I could have fought with her over this, but I wouldn't waste my time, she wouldn't have listened to me anyway._

"_Oh."_

"_Come on, you did promise to see someone before we went to the clinic."_

"_Fine."_

"_Don't huff at me, you decided to go through with all of this."_

"_Ok I will stop huffing."_

_He was a nice man. He had a soothing voice and I suppose some would call him handsome. He spoke to us as a 'couple' for a little while and then with just me. I came out of his office feeling very happy that I was indeed, making the right choice and Alice went in to talk to him. _

_Half an hour later there was still no sign of her. I was just about to knock when she came out of the room, giggling. _

"_Have fun Alice?" I scowled at her._

"_What?"_

"_You and him," I nodded to the door she just closed._

"_We just chatted a bit and swapped numbers, that's all," she tried to act innocently, but her clothes told another story._

"_And bodily fluids, by the look of you."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Alice, your shirt buttons are done up wrong and you skirt is tucked into your thong."_

"_Shit."_

"_Just go to the bathroom and get yourself sorted out, you're supposed to be my girlfriend," I huffed again. _

"_I forgot about that," she mused with glassy eyes._

"_I'm not surprised."_

_**~*0*~**_

"_Bella, what are you doing?" Alice asked as she walked into the kitchen._

"_Having a bit of Dutch courage," I replied as I gulped yet another mouthful of brandy from my glass. I really did want a baby and I didn't need the drink for courage to actually do this, it was for coming face to face with all the needles that I would have to have sticking into me._

"_Bella, you have that for when you are going out on a first date, or when you need to open up important exam results, not when you are just about to ask for someone's sperm. They might not see you if you're not sober," she glared at me as she took the glass from me and threw the contents down the sink._

"_Shit, I didn't think about that." Turning up drunk to request a baby isn't the best thing to do._

"_Coffee?"_

"_Do we have time?"_

"_I will put it in a travel mug for you, come on," Alice said as she went through the cupboards to look for a mug. _

_Soon after she fixed me a strong coffee, we got into the car and made our way to the clinic. I was really excited about doing this, but at the same time I was nervous. We parked up and started the short walk to the clinic, enjoying the twilight lit sky across the horizon. It was really pretty tonight, but it was a shame that the lights of the city masked the stars. _

"_Bella, are you really serious about this?" Alice stopped walking and looked at me with genuine concern etched in her face._

"_Yes Alice," I said for the millionth time as I linked arms with her as we walked to the clinic._

"_As long as you're sure…"_

"_Positive."_

_I was. _

_I was 100 percent sure I knew what I was doing. _

"_Soon dear, soon." _

_I giggled at her words. I was so grateful that she was here by my side while I was doing this._

"_I hope-oh god I'm so sorry," I said as I crashed head on into a solid chest._

"_Not to worry," the smooth, sexy voice answered as he held out a hand to me to steady me. The sound of his voice sent warm shivers all over my skin and I think I might have actually shuddered._

"_Did I hurt you?" I stuttered as I looked into the vivid green eyes. Holy fuck. I wanted to run my tongue over his five o'clock shadow and his hair! I could so knot my fingers to the roots of those strands…Shit, he was talking again._

"_Not at all..?" Oh, he wanted my name._

"_Oh…Bella," I muttered._

"_I'm Edward," he held out his hand for me to shake and I gently took it, not trusting myself to only do just that. _

"_Hi, Edward," I replied coyly._

"_I'm Alice." Trust Alice to butt her nose in._

"_Hi, Alice," he replied with a grin as he shook her hand._

"_Bella, we have to get going or we're going to be late," she nodded her head towards the clinic doors and I blushed. What the fuck must he think of me? Oh yeah, a lesbian. Shit. Well there goes my idea of hot sex._

"_Oh right," I mumbled, not looking at Edward when I answered Alice._

"_So, I'll see you around?" he asked carefully. _

"_Sure." Like we would bump into each other again. He was pure sex on legs and I was just plain old me, pretending to be a lesbian in the hopes of having a stranger's baby. _

_Yeah, I didn't have high hopes that we would see each other again. He walked off and he looked back once with a grin before Alice dragged me into the clinic._

_We were shown into an office to wait for my – our – doctor._

"_Alice, I want what he left," I whispered to her as we were handed a bunch of forms to fill in._

"_Huh?" she asked as she started filling in the sections for her details._

"_He just came out of the clinic," I hissed as she looked up at me._

"_And, he could be a delivery guy or something," she shrugged as she placed the pen between her teeth with a concentrated look in her eyes._

"_I don't care, I want his genes," I was desperate I'll admit it, but how could I not be? He was like a walking Adonis!_

"_Or be _in_ his jeans," Alice gave a quick snort/giggle, oh how lady like._

"_Don't start," I said with a warning smirk. _

"_Not starting nothing, promise," she did the childlike lock lips and throw away the key motion and I giggled at her. _

_The next set of forms had me bouncing in my seat: __Donor Match Form Recipient Information_

"_Tall," I got her to mark._

"_Green eyes," she giggled._

"_Bronze hair," oh God, the hair. _

"_Sexy voice," I said seductively._

"_That's not listed as an option, Bella," Alice grinned. _

_Shit, she's right._

"_Well, that's their fault, not mine," I replied hotly._

"_I agree."_

"_Beautiful lips," another thought came to mind. His glorious soft looking red lips. If I could just run my tongue…_

"_That's not an option either," she laughed._

"_Shit," I huffed and crossed my arms across my chest. So childlike, I know._

"_When he shook my hand, his fingers were soft," Alice said with raised eyebrows._

"_Ok, so mark down soft fingers," I answered._

"_That's not what I meant Bella," she laughed again as I looked puzzled._

"_Well, what did you mean?"_

"_He must be well educated, to have hands that soft, you know, in an office or something."_

"_Or he's as meticulous with beautifying creams as you are?"_

"_And I have beautiful skin to show for it, unlike some," she smiled as she ran her fingers over her cheeks._

"_And what's mine, sand paper?"_

"_No, just not baby soft."_

"_Jeeze, thanks for the compliment."_

"_You're welcome," we both giggled._

"_Ok ladies, have you thought about what you would like to have in a donor?" We were brought out of our giggling fit by a tall blonde woman walking into the room with a fake smile plastered on her face._

"_I want the freshest sperm possible!" Ok, maybe I shouldn't have been that blunt, but I wanted his sperm and by god I was going to get it._

"_Come again?" She looked confused at me and Alice let out a short giggle._

"_You know, the most recently deposited. I don't want them to turn out like frozen vegetables." That just sounded daft, even to my own ears._

"_You lost me." She should have a neon sign over her head 'blonde bimbo sits here.'_

"_I don't want them to get freezer burn because they have been in the freezer too long."_

_It's true. Leave something frozen for too long and it tastes horrible. Saying that, semen tastes horrible anyhow, but I want them to be in tip top condition to meet my eggs. _

"_It doesn't work like that, Miss Swan I can assure you that our sperm never have freezer burn." Did she just snort? Ew!_

"_That's beside the point, this treatment is costing a small fortune and I want the freshest," I wasn't going to be budged on this. _

_I wanted his sperm._

"_Ok, well we will follow your request as to what you would like from the donor. Did you manage to read through all the literature we sent you?"_

"_Yep, it all looks good," I replied as I tried to memorize everything my body was going to be put through over the next few weeks._

"_And you have all your information from your gynecologist?"_

"_Full medical done and I have been given the go ahead," I said proudly as I handed over my file for her to read._

"_Ok, you are due your period tomorrow. On day three of your cycle, you have to start injecting yourself with the treatment. This will last for ten days. After that, you will go through the egg retrieval process. We will inject the chosen sperm into the eggs we collect and leave them for five days until they get to the blastocyst stage. Then you are called back in to have the embryo's placed in your uterus. Any remaining embryos that are viable are frozen for future use if you would like to try for a sibling. Then all you have to do is wait fourteen days after implantation to have a blood test to see if you are pregnant."_

"_And the remaining embryos won't get freezer burn?"_

"_No."_

"_Ok."_

"_Now, are you ok to do the injections yourself?"_

"_Alice has agreed to administer the injections for me," I said with a grimace. Bloody needles._

"_And are you ok with that Ms. Brandon?"_

"_Yep, I think so. I just stick Bella with a small prick and she gets pregnant." Ok, that comment was not lost on me and I nudged her with my elbow._

"_So in just over a month, she could be pregnant?" Alice asked with a smile._

"_Hopefully," the blonde answered._

"_That's so cool," Alice said dreamily._

"_The wonders of modern technology, hey," I said as we were shown out of the room._

"_Yeah," Alice answered._

_Fast forward 9 months:_

_I was in my own version of hell. _

_Emmett – my OB/GYN - was stuck in traffic while I was stuck with a nurse who belonged on the set of a Monty python film. She was a trainee and I wanted to kill her. They say that first labors took hours, I had been in hospital less than an hour and I wanted to push already! What the fuck? Ok, so my waters broke ages ago, but some stupid bitch on the phone told me to stay at home until my contractions were five minutes apart. I did do that and now I was uncontrollably pushing while I had the bitch from hell telling me to pant like a fucking dog!_

"_Miss Swan, you need to push her out, not suck her back up."_

_I seriously hope she did not say that! _

"_Suck her back up? You think I have a Kirby vacuum cleaner built in up there or something?" I growled, thinking of ways to top her off and put her remains in the clinical waste._

"_Well hello there ladies," Dr. Fucking Emmett strolled in the room with a Star buck's coffee. Asshole!_

"_You took your fucking time," I growled again._

"_Well, I was busy Bella." Yeah, getting your ration of coffee._

"_How is she doing Lauren?"_

"_She keeps sucking the baby back up," she huffed! Fucking HUFFED!_

"_I didn't fucking do that," I spat at her, giving her death glares._

"_She's right Lauren; the baby will naturally slide back up the birth canal until it gets far enough to be pushed out. Think of it as one step forward two steps back." Well no one told me that fucking bit about giving birth!_

"_Oh," she said while her shoulders slumped. She actually looked disappointed, like she had the fucking right to that. I was the one pushing out a basketball sized baby!_

"_Yes, fucking 'oh.' Now will you shut the fuck up so I can have this baby in peace?" I spat again. _

"_Well you're the one who's making all the noise," she said in retaliation, pushing me past my limit._

"_Alice, get her out before I end up doing time for murder before this one decides to make an appearance," I ordered Alice through gritted teeth and I even tried to get off the bed to hit the nurse. _

"_I'm on it," Alice jumped up and tried to usher her out of the room._

"_Hey, I have to learn this somewhere," she protested._

"_But not in here, not if you value that recent nose job," Alice said with a glare and the nurse actually covered her nose to protect it._

"_And you can shut up, this is fucking painful," I growled at Emmett as he chuckled while setting up a tray of instruments._

"_It can't be that bad, Bella, now push." _

_I tried my hardest to push and fuck me did it hurt, but Emmett's words rang through my mind._

"_It can't be that bad? Emmett, do you have a vagina?"_

"_Er-,"_

"_Ever had a blow torch aimed full blast onto your clitoris?" He cringed and I internally giggled, which is a good thing as I felt that my body was splitting in two._

"_Er, no,"_

"_Then how about you flop your dick out and I call maintenance for one and we see if it feels simi-LAR!" I didn't see the look on his face as I scrunched up my eyes while I pushed down._

"_Come on, Bella, push her out and we will continue this later," Alice said in a caring tone._

"_I hate fucking men," I hollered as I felt her head crown._

"_But you're a lesbian," Emmett chuckled again. I looked at the tray and thought about grabbing the scalpel and turning him into a woman._

"_Really, you think Alice packs sperm in her hair straighteners? For fuck sake Emmett you're a doctor, I needed a man to get into this state."_

"_Good point."_

_QUITE A FEW HOURS LATER:_

_Elizabeth was born just a few minutes after my blow-torch explanation and she was beautiful. I knew straight away that I had Edward's baby, she had his exact hair coloring. She was just perfect. _

_I was just drifting off to sleep in my room on the postnatal ward when I heard a soft knock on the door. An older lady who I had never seen before stuck her head in._

"_Hello dear."_

"_Er, hello?"_

"_I'm the family planning nurse, I was just on my rounds and I see that you have recently given birth." _

_Oh you have got to be shitting me! Family planning?_

"_You want me to give you an answer to that?" I said as I looked over into the crib to see my beautiful baby sleeping._

"_Well, I know you're tired, so I will just get on with it. What were your chosen methods of contraception after your six weeks are up?"_

"_You're joking?" She has to be? I just pushed out a seven pound baby through a tiny whole less than six hours ago and she wants to talk to me about sex and contraception._

"_No dear."_

_No, of course she isn't joking. _

_Bitch!_

"_Well, as I tore pretty badly and ended up having several rather painful stitches, I won't be having sex for quite a while. Now, if I were to have the opportunity at any point with a man, my chosen form would be two house bricks and the man's bollocks in between them. Now, if you don't mind, I would like to get some rest before my daughter wakes up because my tits already feel like they are full of concrete and I feel like I'm still having contractions because some stupid idiot forgot to mention the fact that you have after pains!"_

_She left the room in quite a hurry and I couldn't help but giggle. Only problem was that when I giggled, either my lady parts or tits screamed out in pain._

_**~ (*) ~ END OF FLASH BACK ~ (*) ~**_

"I-er-I-ah-fuck," Well what the fuck was I supposed to say now?

"Momma, bad words."

Thank-you, Lizzy, I know I swear too much.

"I'm sorry baby. Alice, get that look off your face, now." I looked over to Alice and she had the biggest shit eating grin on her face. Bitch.

"What, I'm the innocent one in all of this," she answered me, holding her hands up in surrender.

"Dr Cullen, would you mind talking to me outside for a moment?" I asked him through gritted teeth. I was not going to be discussing this in front of my daughter or Alice.

"Of course Miss Swan or is it Mrs. Brandon?" he asked kindly in his Godly smooth voice.

"Don't go there," I growled.

"Ok, how about we go to my office while Ms. Brandon fills in the forms to get Lizzy discharged?"

"Fine."

"Take your time you two," Alice said in a sing-song voice and at that moment I could have really slapped her.

"Alice."

"Yes Bella?"

"Grow up."

We walked down the corridor to his office and he motioned for me to sit down.

"What are you doing here?" I blurted out the first 'clean' thing that came into my mind.

"I work here Bella," he said calmly.

How could he be so calm?

"How do you remember my name Edward?" Shit.

"I could ask you the same question. I would also like to ask the question of why there is a three year old girl who looks exactly like me sitting in the ER?"

"Well-I-um-I. You don't have the right to ask that question, you donated, I used," I pouted like Lizzy.

"But why mine?" He raised a perfect eyebrow at me. Oh how sexy that looked.

"You looked pretty." Why oh why could I not get my brain to mouth filter to work?

"_Pretty_? I don't know whether I should take that as an insult or a compliment," he chuckled.

"Compliment," I blurted out.

"Really?" He smirked at me and I think I might have got a little 'damp' down there, yep, definitely damp.

"Don't look at me like that. How the hell did this all work out like this anyway? Out of all the thousands of places you could be, you have to be where I spend most of my time."

"You work here too?" he asked.

"No, between my klutz gene and Lizzy's, we spend a lot of time here."

"Oh."

"So?" He asked after a moment's silence.

"So what?"

"We're not going to talk about this?" He asked.

"Edward as I said, you donated, I used. What do you want to happen? You want to start dating, get married and have more kids? Christ, I know nothing about you."

"And I know nothing about you, yet we share a daughter."

Way to state the obvious.

"That you shouldn't know about," I replied.

"But I do now."

"Edward, don't you think this is all rather awkward?"

"Yes, but the situation is here now." He had a good point.

"True."

"So what do we do?" How the hell would I know!

"Well how the fuck should I know?"

"Lizzy's right, you have a problem with your mouth," he grinned at me. I could so knock that look off of his face, preferably with my lips. _Bella, STOP it!_

"Shut it, I'm stressed," I spat. I was cross with him and I was even more cross with my dirty mind and my even dirtier body.

"When I get stressed, I got to the bar for a drink, fancy one?"

Huh? Sexy doctor said what?

"Ha, when I get stressed, I try and drown myself in the bath. I can't remember when I last went out. That's what parents do, give up their single lifestyles. You think you could do that?"

"I don't have a lifestyle, I just work," he pouted! Ah-ha, that's where Lizzy gets it from!

"But you just said - ,"

"I know what I just said. It was a polite way to ask you out." Oh.

"Oh."

"Would you?" he prompted.

"What?"

"Go out for a drink with me?"

"I don't know." I didn't. Christ, we shared a daughter, but have never had a date, or sex and this is the longest conversation we have had!

"Bella, we can't just ignore this."

"Momma, I ready," Lizzy said as she toddled into the office, pulling Alice in with her.

"And I need to go and reopen the shop." Alice grinned happily.

"Oh hello dear," a couple came into his office just behind Alice and Lizzy. Who the fuck were _these_ people?

"Actually, I think I might stay for this," Alice laughed and sat on the floor by the door.

"Oh fuck," Edward groaned.

"And you said I had a bad mouth," I gave him a sly grin.

"Yes, language son." Oh my God, that explains it. They were his parents.

"Fuck," I sighed.

Could this get any worse?

"You were saying?" Edward gave a small chuckle under his breath.

"And who's this beauty?" the lady asked Lizzy.

"Hi, my name's Lizzy," she said proudly.

"Well aren't you a sweetheart," his dad said with a smile.

"And this my momma," Lizzy said, pointing to me.

"Hello dear," his mom took my hand and shook it.

"And I'm Alice," Alice piped up, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"Is it me or is this office getting smaller?" I groaned.

"It's just you," Alice said with a giggle. Right, time to take her out of the equation and have grown up talk.

"Alice, can you take Lizzy out to the waiting room for me please?"

"Sure, hey Edward, now that you're _finally_ back together, fancy coming round for dinner one night?" Oh hell.

"Alice!"

"Fine, come on Lizzy; let's go see how many sick people we can spot." Lizzy took her hand and they both left. I looked round to see a smile plastered on Edward's face. Git.

"So, Son, going to tell us what has been going on?" his father asked him and Edward turned a pale white color while giving me a pleading look. I take it mommy and daddy didn't know about his 'sperm donation' activities.

"It's my fault Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. Edward and I fooled around in the summer a few years ago and I didn't realize that antibiotic medication for my ear infection interfered with the contraceptive I was on. Anyway, we didn't exactly swap each other's details, so when we went our separate ways, I left with a baby on board, if you get my meaning and he went to med school."

"Oh," his mom said quietly as she sat slowly into a chair.

"Are you ok dear?" his father asked with concern as he bent down to kneel in front of her.

"Yes I'm fine. It's just a lot to take in."

"I know sweetheart; being told you're a grandmother is hard going, but don't worry, you still don't look a day over forty." Aw, how sweet!

"It's not that."

"Then what is it dear?"

"It's just that I always thought you were gay!" she said as she looked up to Edward. Well I sure as hell didn't expect that!

"WHAT?" Edward shouted out.

"Well it's not like you have ever brought a girl home and you are rather pretty." See, he's _pretty_.

"Oh for god's sake, I'm not pretty and I'm certainly not gay!" he huffed as he slumped down into his office chair and raked his fingers through his glorious, just been fucked hair.

"You are a little bit pretty," I muttered.

"Bella," he warned. Him, warning me? I so don't think so.

"What Edward? Oh and Mrs. Cullen, I can assure you that your son is definitely not gay," I said with a smirk and turned to see Edward looking shell shocked. Ha, take that Dr Cullen.

"He's definitely not?" his mother asked.

"Oh no, what he can do with his tou-,"

"Enough," Edward growled.

"Oh sweetheart, it's so good to hear you have your daddy's skills as a lover as well as a doctor." I think I actually saw his mom shed a tear.

"For fuck sake, I really don't need this at the moment," Edward huffed as he rubbed his hands over his eyes.

"Son, language, please. There are ladies present," his father reprimanded him with a grin. I think I really liked his parents.

"_Ladies_ who are discussing my sexuality and bedroom abilities," Edward huffed again.

"There's no need to be shy son."

"Dad, I haven't seen Bella in well over three years. Less than an hour ago I found out I have a daughter. My mother announces that she thought I was gay and now you are all discussing what I do in the bedroom in the same way you discuss paint choices for walls. I'm not shy, I'm stressed."

"Well how about you go for a drink? Weren't you just saying that that's what you did when you were stressed?" I asked, in a voice laced with innocence.

"You're an alcoholic?" his mom half screamed.

"No, mom!"

"But doctors are always stressed, that means you must always be drinking. Does your brother drink too?" she asked with a sob.

"No mom. Please calm down and Bella, stop giving my mom ammo to attack me with."

Bella 10, Edward 0.

Oh fuck, _Dr Cullen_.

Emmett.

My OB/GYN.

Fuck!

Rephrase, Bella minus 10, Edward 100.

"Hang on; what's your brother's name?" I asked carefully.

"Dr. Cullen." Well duh!

"Well I know that you idiot."

"Oh, Emmett."

"Holy sh – ugar."

"What?"

"He was my OB/GYN with Lizzy."

"Wait up, he got to stick his fingers in there and deliver my daughter, but you won't come out for a drink with me?"

"Edward, the last time I had a drink with you around, I ended up pregnant," I retaliated daringly.

Well, it wasn't like I was going to spill the beans on how and _where_ we met, was I?

"You got her drunk to take advantage of her!" his father sounded shocked.

"No dad. Oh God, I can't do this. Mom, dad, go home. I will call you later. Bella, we _**WILL**_ swap details now and I will call you tomorrow. Now, if you will excuse me, I need to say goodbye to my daughter."

"Bella, I think it would be a very good idea to get to know you, how about you come round for dinner?"

"I would love to, Mrs. Cullen," I said with a grin as Edward dropped his head to his desk with a loud bang and covered it with his arms.

"Oh Bella, call me Esme, or you could call me mom, I mean you _have_ given birth to my granddaughter after all," she said happily as we all walked out of the office.

"Oh-I…" Well now what was I supposed to say?

"Hey daddy, can I go home now?" Oh she didn't, no, she couldn't of? I was really going to kill Alice when we got home. Poor Edward look like he was going to faint and his parents just smiled sweetly at her. The universe hates me.

"Yes, Lizzy, you can go home now," Edward said after a few seconds of thought.

"But you have to promise me one thing?" he said as he knelt down to her height.

"Yes?" she said expectantly.

"Find a way to shut your mom up so I don't get a headache," he said with a grin.

_Bastard_. I will teach him to mess with a mom.

"Edward?" I whispered once he stood back up.

"What Bella?" he whispered back.

"If you have just seen me for the first time in three years, how am I going to explain to your parents that I'm eleven weeks pregnant with your second child?"

Oh his face was priceless.

I wondered if the CCTV system caught it?


	2. Chapter 2

**We ready? Please remember that this was written a very long time ago and you will, no doubt, find errors. This is purely written for humor... I hope you enjoy :)  
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* * *

><p>EPOV<p>

Never dial when drunk, because quite honestly, you don't want your parents to find out what you get up to. And you _certainly_ don't want to hear what _they_ get up to either, believe me.

Also, never text when you're drunk either, because you spend more time when you're sober trying to work out what the fuck you said.

It's also proof of how drunk you really were.

Never be more than twenty feet from the nearest toilet, that's a must.

And _the_ most vital rule you must adhere to…Never let your brother get you drunk after you deposit sperm at a clinic to prove that you're not a pussy.

I am Edward Cullen and my life is one big ball of fucked-up-ness.

_**~**0**~**_

Here's how my day started….

Three hours, I just had to get through the next three hours in this hell hole and then I could crawl into bed after one hell of a long fucked up day.

I was currently forty five hours into a forty eight hour shift and have had approximately 2.5 hours sleep.

I needed to get home.

"Eddie, there's a trauma in ER for you."

"Lauren, my name is Dr Cullen; I don't know how many times I have to tell you that, not Eddie or Edward or any other name you feel fit to call me except Dr Cullen, got it?" I growled out as I looked over the top of a chart to her orange soda colored face.

Honestly, did these girls actually think they looked more attractive when they looked like they fell into their make-up? It looked like fucking war paint.

How did they get it off at the end of the day, a hammer and chisel?

"Damn, someone has their panties in a twist today, don't they?" she cooed sickeningly and pretended to pout.

"Lauren, I'm tired, hungry and I just want to get my shift finished, can you please stop trying to rub me up the wrong way?" I was on the verge of pleading with her, but I just couldn't work up the courage to do it.

"Well how about I rub you up the right way and relieve your stress a little bit, huh?"

"Lauren," I growled again, "Let-me-put-this-to-you-in-a-way-you-might-underst and. I _have_ never and _will _never want you to touch me, rub me, kiss me, fuck me or let you do anything remotely sexual to me until the day I die. You are not what I want in a woman and have never been anything more than an annoying, ear damaging with your stupid voice, whiny little nurse who spreads her legs easier than butter, so will you please just leave me the fuck alone and get on with the job you were hired to do or I will be forced to go to your supervisor and get them to contact the H.R department to get you moved from this department or even better, fired. Now do I make myself clear?"

And breathe.

Count to ten.

And walk away.

The squeak of my shoes on the linoleum covered her shocked gasp as I walked towards the ER department.

I couldn't wait to get home to have some decent food and coffee. The food they served here was little more than colored cardboard and the coffee was like sludge. Don't get me wrong, I'm far from being a health nut; I just liked that whatever went in my body to have a little bit of flavor and consistency to it.

I was stopped on my way to my new patient by Dr Baker who wanted to invite me for Christmas drinks. I knew doctors were always busy and needed as much notice as possible for functions, but five months? I gave him a tentative 'yes' and carried on walking. Mrs. Newman, the in house cleaner, was the next person to stop me. She had caught Dr Riley and Nurse Stanley in her supply closet and wanted it dealt with.

Mrs. Cope, our amazingly wonderful receptionist, peace keeper and all round motherly figure stopped me just as I was about to enter the room. She wanted to pass on a message that my parents were on their way over to see me. Why my parents couldn't just call or text me, I'll never know, but I thanked Mrs. Cope for the heads up and knocked on the door.

As I opened to door, I distinctly heard two girly voices. One woman, one child.

"_My mother said, I never should, play with the gypsies in the wood._

_If I did, she would say, you naughty little girl to disobey._

_Your hair wont curl, your shoes wont shine, you naughty little girl, you shant be mine!"_

Well, that was an interesting rhyme that they were singing. What the hell ever happened to _'Baa Baa Black Sheep'_?

I walked into the room and what I saw made my breath leave my lungs instantly.

There she was, the short little thing with spiky hair and vivid blue eyes.

Although I hadn't seen her in over three years, I'd still remember her because of her friend/girlfriend. Now _that_ was a woman who could have captured my heart. Yes, fine, I didn't know her from Adam, but all the same, she was stunningly beautiful. The rest I could have worked with.

Oh God, now I sounded as shallow as my brother.

"Alice," her name gushed out of my mouth.

"Edward! Oh my God, how great it is to see you!" she jumped up from her chair and pranced her way over to me like a ballerina high on coke.

"You remember me!" I chuckled as she launched herself into my arms.

Okay, we only met once, so hugging was certainly not expected, but oh well. I can be a hugger if she wants me to be.

"What's wrong, are you okay?" I asked as I pulled her away from me so I could have a good look at her.

"Oh, I'm fine silly, do I look ill? I never get ill, I look after myself too well. This little one though, well, let's just say when her mother finds out she's here again, there's gonna be hell to pay," Alice winced a little and then grimaced.

As Alice looked over to the other side of the room, my eyes followed hers.

Yeah, I didn't need to breathe, right? I just needed to know, because all the air in my lungs had disappeared and I couldn't get any to go back in.

It also felt as though someone had round-housed me and my feet had been taken away from me.

Yep, my ass was clearly on the floor.

"Oh shit! Edward? EDWARD!" I heard Alice shriek, but I couldn't reply.

I shut my eyes, but the vision of the little girl on the bed had seared itself to the back of my eyelids.

Denim skirt with butterflies on them and white sandals. Fluorescent pink tee, covered in sparkly shit. Perfect pink lips with the cutest cupids bow. Copper ringlets that flowed down her back. I'm not talking normal curly hair, but the perfect ringlets that you get on a porcelain doll. The most unusual colored eyes that I'd ever seen.

Minus the girly shit, she was a carbon copy of me.

I wasn't an idiot.

I could connect the dots to the tot.

I had a daughter.

And she was now giggling at my ass that was now on the floor.

_**~**0**~**_

**Poke**

"_Edward, when are you going to grow a back bone and move out?" Emmett asked as he plucked another beer from his cooler._

"_Mom's mostly on her own with dad working away most of the time, she needs me there," I replied strongly. _

"_God, you're such a momma's boy," he replied with a laugh._

**Poke**

"_One drink won't hurt you, Edward," Em said as he held out a beer to me. I shook my head._

"_I have exams in the morning; I don't want to mess them up."_

"_Edward, you need to live, buddy. You're twenty two years old and you really need to get out, really."_

**Poke**

"_Mom and dad are away on their vacation, why don't you just do something instead of reading your medical journals? Edward, I managed to become a doctor and I didn't study half as much as you have. You're a fully-fledged doctor now, chill out, have fun."_

**Poke**

"_Edward, when was the last time you did something that wasn't planned? When have you ever taken risks? You're gonna end up alone if you're not careful. I know I sound like I always nag at you, but you need to get a life."_

**Poke**

_I can take risks. I can prove to everyone that I'm not just a geek. I can have fun. I can do stupid things if I want or need to._

**Poke, poke, poke.**

"Stop poking me," I growled out as I opened my eyes.

I was met with the most beautiful giggle and ringlets covering my face.

_Stupid things I did made me have a daughter I never knew about._

"He awake, Ali, he awake."

"Here, drink this," Alice shoved a Sippy cup of juice in front of me and I glared at her.

"A Sippy cup, really, Alice?" I raised a bitch brow at her. Hey, a man can bitch brow. I copied it off my mom.

"What? You want me to leave an on the edge of fainting person' in charge of a three year old little girl to go hopping and skipping through the hospital to find you a clear mountain spring bottle of water? Christ, Edward, even I'm not that stupid!" she huffed as she pulled the lid off of the cup and passed it to me.

Just the smell of it got me out of the haze I was feeling.

"What the fuck is that?" I said with a wrinkled nose.

"Tomato and carrot juice," she replied happily.

"It yuck," the little girl said with a wrinkled nose.

"It smells it," I replied hoarsely.

"You okay to get up, or should I go and get someone?" Alice asked worriedly.

"I'm fine." Not exactly. Far from it to be honest, but what choice did I have?

Emmett was going to have a field day with this.

So were my parents…

_**~**0**~**_

My life had turned into the twilight zone.

An hour ago I was hiding in my office waiting for my shift to be over and now I was a father to a beautiful three year old little girl and Bella tells me that she – WE – are having another one.

Without having the sex first.

_Whoa_, don't think I'm a virgin, I'm not, I promise.

I've had sex.

A handful of times.

Okay, twice actually, but its quality not quantity that matters. Right?

Saying that, did you know a pig's orgasm lasts for over half an hour?

Lucky fucking pig.

I digress.

"Bella, you should come over for dinner by the end of this week," mom said as she dug through her purse to get out her personal planner.

Hello, my baby momma just told me she was pregnant again and they're all talking dinner dates.

What the fuck about me?

Being a dad again, without having sex!

Was it just me, or was there something seriously wrong with that equation?

"What day are we on again?" she asked no one in particular.

"Wednesday," I sighed.

What's the point in moaning? I'll be forgotten now.

She has a granddaughter to play dress up with.

I'm just going to be the man who got her knocked up and a cigar will be shoved in my mouth. I don't even smoke, people. She gets to feel the baby move, enjoy the scans and free crap they give out at the hospital.

I didn't even get to have the sex to make the first baby, let alone the second one!

"Well, tomorrow night is bridge, then I have to attend the Webber's annual charity function for his church roof, Saturday isn't any good, I have the Mallory's garden party. How about Sunday for dinner?" Mom asked Bella as they walked towards the doors.

Lizzy had attached herself to my leg, so as I went to follow them all, I looked like Hop Along Cassidy.

"That sounds like fun," Bella replied as she turned around and winked at me. If I wasn't so damn pissed off and confused, I might have found the wink sexy.

"Well, we'll leave you two to sort out the details and we'll see you on Sunday," Mom said as she pulled Bella into a fierce hug and whispered something to her. It made Bella blush furiously, so I needed to work out what Mom had just said.

I needed ammo.

I needed to talk to Lizzy.

Surely Bella has grounded her or some shit and she wanted to get her own back, right? She's what, nearly four? God, by that point, Emmett was grounded on a daily basis.

Yeah, Lizzy will have to help me.

_**~**0**~**_

Alice, bless her saccharin sweet heart, took Lizzy home so Bella and I could talk.

_Awkward!_

Realistically though, what are the chances of me and her meeting up again, let alone sharing a child?

Unless….

She planned it!

Okay, so she didn't plan on me being at the clinic, but she must have chosen my super sperm.

Yes I said super sperm, sue me.

I knocked her up… twice.

That's something to be proud of.

Don't laugh.

"Edward, what the hell are you doing?" she asked through gritted teeth as we lined up in Starbucks.

"What do you mean? I'm not doing anything," I protested. Christ, just because I have meat and two veg, I automatically do something wrong!

"You're doing it again, your murmuring to yourself while your eyes are all out of focus," she huffed as she grabbed a cookie from the display.

Should pregnancy hormones be this strong already?

I didn't want to ask.

"God, why is it so busy in here?" she huffed again and my stupid brain to mouth filter didn't want to cooperate with me.

_I_ wanted to keep quiet, because quite frankly, that was the safest thing to do, but my _mouth_ wasn't listening.

"Are you okay?" I asked then wanted to kick myself.

"No actually, boy wonder, I'm not okay. I'm sexually frustrated and now that I'm pregnant again, I can't use my dildo."

"Oh," I dumbly replied.

What the hell was I supposed to say?

"Well I can help with that if you want." Oh you stupid stupid man, learn to keep your mouth _SHUT!_

"Eh?" she asked as she took a mouthful of her unpaid for cookie. I should have screamed theft, but I wanted my balls left intact.

"Well, you are carrying my baby and if it wants something, I have to give it to him or her." Did I just say that?

"That's just sick," she said with an eye roll. Apparently the woman behind us in the queue thought so too, because I swore she kicked me.

"What?" I asked dumbly again. She was saying something but the back of my leg started to pound in pain. The bitch behind us _did_ kick me!

"You saying you would give me sex to keep the baby happy, your baby? Ew…"

"Oh, I didn't think about it like that." I just heard that she needed sex and my mouth opened.

Should I just line myself up in the firing range and tie my own tie round my eyes? I don't mind, honestly. I'll even count to three for you.

"Right, well how about you get me a coffee instead," she said sweetly, 180 degree difference to the last hour I had spent with her.

"Can you have coffee?" It's a genuine question people, don't bitch at me.

"A little bit."

"Wouldn't you prefer tea?" Okay, now you can bitch.

"Would you prefer your balls to stay intact?" See, she thinks about my balls too. Not in the same way, but they're on her mind.

"Yes please," I replied in a slightly higher tone than when I hit puberty.

"Never deny a woman what she wants when she's pregnant, number one rule." There's rules? What happened to the baby books and magazines? There are rule books for this shit now?

"So you still want sex?" _Shut your God damn mouth Cullen._

"Not after that comment you made," she huffed.

She's pissed because she can't have sex for nine months. Try jgoifghj years people!

"Coffee then?" I asked, resigned.

"Please."

"Can we compromise and I give you decaf?" I had to try. I didn't know what coffee did to babies, but half of those genetics were mine, that meant one quarter of it was Emmett.

Coffee and Emmett don't mix.

"I still get coffee, decaf, and I only take away one of your balls," she bitch browed me and I paled.

"Regular coffee it is then."

"Thank you."


	3. Chapter 3

"Little spider on the wall, have you no home at all? Can't you see, it's just been plastered, now you're stuck, you silly bastard," I sang sweetly before…

_Slap._

"Spider is now deaded, as Lizzy would say," I said proudly as I put my sandal back on.

Edward sat there on the park bench, just staring at me in shock.

"What?" I asked hotly.

"You just killed a spider," he said dumbly.

I failed to see where he was going with this.

"And?" I prompted.

"Well, you don't need me," he sounded resigned.

Yeah, I _still_ didn't know where he was going with this.

"Your point?" I asked as I finally sat down on the spider free bench.

"Well, you don't need me. You already have our daughter, you're pregnant again, you have a dildo for sex, albeit not for the next few months, but that's just minor details. And to top it all off, you're quite happy to kill spiders and bugs, so you don't need me," he huffed. Aww, poor baby.

We had been meeting up for the last couple of days on our lunch breaks. Tomorrow was going to be a big day because we would be taking Lizzy out for the day, together.

I needed to grill Edward on everything about his life and he needed to know everything about Lizzy.

"Is she potty trained?" he asked nervously.

"Yes she is, is that okay?"

"Yeah, it's great. I didn't fancy changing a girl's diaper. It just feels, strange," he said with a small shudder.

"Well let's just hope this one is a boy then," I replied hotly. I knew I was winding him up, but he didn't have to know that.

He also didn't need to know that I would be willing to get on my knees, right now, in the middle of the park and service him.

Honestly, if only you could see the vision that I could.

"You – You want me around for this one?" he asked, completely surprised and shocked.

"Edward, your mother, at this moment in time, is planning a bedroom for Lizzy, which means that we're not running away. Lizzy will be in your life and so will this one," I replied as I bit into my burger and then shoved a fry into my mouth.

"Is that healthy for the baby?" he asked and I growled at him.

"Edward, without me trying to sound like a bitch, I know what I can and can't have while I'm pregnant, I _have_ done this already, in case you forgot," I said as I rolled my eyes.

I did kinda feel sorry for him, but as much as I could say that he didn't put himself in this position, he still dumped the spunk at the bank, so we were both to blame.

Kinda.

Okay, so I didn't exactly have to choose _his_ sperm, but hey, I wanted the best and he's hot as fuck, even if he is a little naïve.

A little naïve…

An idea came to mind.

He would hate it, but it would help him out.

With an evil grin, I left him quickly, just leaving him there on the park bench.

I told him that I would meet up with him tomorrow for him to get to know Lizzy, and then almost ran back to the shop.

Not a good thing when your bladder was as delicate as water balloon, ready to pop at any minute.

After a laughing fit from Alice and a very strange phone call with Esme, which involved stories about Terry nappies and safety pins, the plans were put in motion.

It was a very tricky plan because Esme didn't know I was pregnant again, but Alice promised me that she would work something out.

The rest of the day flew by and by three o'clock I was ready to go home to bed.

I did not enjoy _this_ part of pregnancy.

I was happy and excited about being pregnant again, but I forgot how tiring everything was.

Lizzy, on the other hand, was not happy at all.

She was over excited about seeing her new daddy the following day and by the time bedtime came round she rivaled Alice on a sugar fix.

I left her in Alice's capable-ish hands and went for a bath.

I wallowed about in the bath for ages, just thinking about life and the baby. I would be having my first scan on Monday and I was still debating with myself about asking Edward if he wanted to come with me.

It was his baby after all.

I must have drifted off because when I came to, the water that was nice and warm was now tepid and my darkened nipples stood a mile out of the water. Okay, not mile, but fuck, they had changed in the last few weeks!

I sighed deeply as I pulled myself out of the tub and wrapped the small towel round my body.

Damn it was cold!

I skipped quickly to my room, but before I got there, I heard a voice.

A voice I would never forget.

In _my_ fucking _house_!

I stood in the doorway of my little girl's bedroom to see that her new daddy was curled up next to her, reading her favorite story.

She was sound asleep.

And my towel had fallen from my body.

"At least I'm one step closer to what my brother accomplished," he smirked. _SMIRKED_!

I let out a string of strange and unintelligible words as I ducked down to the floor to grab the disobedient towel and ran to my own room.

Why the fuck was here he?

How the fuck did he know where we lived?

"_Alice_," I growled as I threw on a pair of sweats and a vest top.

With my boobs feeling like shit, I went without a bra.

Stupid, stupid move!

And why the hell did he smirk at me?

Earlier in the day I left him all but bumbling after me.

Now he was a cocky little shit.

I needed ammo.

I needed Emmett.

"Alice, would you be kind enough to tell me why my baby daddy is in our daughter's bedroom?" I hissed when I found her sitting in the living room curled up with Jasper.

Oh yeah, you heard me right. Our so called 'psychologist' from when I first wanted a child was now shacked up with Alice. Their one time 'bunk up' in the office led to several bunk ups on every flat surface going. And they didn't stick to horizontal flat surfaces either.

I needed to replace a whole section of bookshelves when they decided to go at it on Alice's lunch break causing a domino effect, smashing the last one to pieces.

Jasper was now a firm fixture in our home and Lizzy loved him to bits.

He and Alice were planning to get married at some point, but they just hadn't got round to it.

Damn, that man was so far laid back; I was surprised that he hadn't fallen over backwards yet.

"Evenin', Bella babe," he drawled as he kissed Alice's neck.

I shuddered.

Mainly because I wanted what he was doing.

Just not with _him_, obviously.

Oh no, the man I wanted to do that to me was currently in our girl's bedroom.

This brings me back to my original point.

"Going to explain?" I urged, giving her a proper glare.

At least she had the decency to look a little sheepish.

"He called earlier to talk to you, but you were in the bath and I was cooking Lizzy's dinner, so I let her speak to him. You know what she's like when she wants something and her voice gets all whiny and shit, so when she pleaded for him to come over, I couldn't say no," she finished talking and turned her eyes on.

The same eyes that Lizzy uses to get something.

Damn that Shrek movie with that fucking cat and big pleading eyes.

I wasn't angry anymore, no, I was sad for them.

_I_ couldn't even say no to those eyes, so they had no hope and Edward was a newbie, he didn't stand a chance.

"Fine," I huffed loudly and went in search for the baby daddy.

I used to hate that expression, but it was growing on me in a cute and irritating way.

"That's a shame," he whispered when I found myself in the doorway again.

"What's a shame?" I asked, completely confused and irritated.

"You got dressed," he mused with a frown.

"And? You really wanted to look at this body?" I huffed as I waved my hands up and down my body.

"I wouldn't have said no any time soon," he smirked again and I really wanted to slap that look off of his face.

"Where's all this confidence coming from?" I asked as I folded my arms across my chest and frowned at him.

"I spoke to a little girl earlier on who pleaded for me to come and see her because she missed me so, so much and I felt needed. I haven't felt like that before, so I'm happy. Plus I got to see you naked and dripping wet," he wiggled his eye brows and then I felt sick.

He looked exactly like Emmett.

"Don't look at me in that tone of voice, it smells a funny color," I said hotly as I pushed myself away from the door frame and went in search of something to drink.

"That made no sense at all," he said as I heard him follow behind me.

"It wasn't supposed to. Men are not supposed to understand women, so I make it just a little harder for my pleasure," I replied as I grabbed a can of soda from the fridge.

"You are some strange lady, beautiful, but strange," he chuckled as he sat down on the long bench at our table.

"It will keep you on your toes at least," I giggled as the bubbles from the soda tickled my nose.

"Very true, I'm a little out of practice. Normally I have Emmett to keep me busy," he chuckled again and I was yet again reminded that he was my OB-GYN's brother.

Ew!

"So, great and wonderful Dr. Edward Cullen, please enlighten me as to why _you_ of all people were in the sperm bank that night," I asked with a somewhat sexy smile.

Yeah, that question wiped the smile off of his face.

"Emmett. If there is anything that is not normal, illegal or out of place, always blame Emmett," he said conspiratorially.

"Explain," I whispered, as if I wanted in on the secret.

Well I did!

"He always used to bug me about being a momma's boy and how I was always the prim and proper kid who never did anything out of turn and never broke the rules. So one night, I thought enough was enough and went to the clinic as a dare. He always dared me to do things and if I didn't do it, I gave him my allowance. He was a very rich kid. Until that night of course," he finished talking and then took the soda can from me and started drinking from it.

"I don't want your germs!" I hollered as I tried to get it back from him.

"Germs you don't want, but you use my sperm… twice!" he chuckled, holding the can high up out of my reach.

"Shut it and give the hormonal woman the soda," I growled.

"Nope," he laughed.

Fuck that.

I twisted his nipple through his shirt.

He whimpered like a little kid who had been kicked in the shin.

I got my soda back though.

"You're mean," he grumbled.

"I'm a mom, there's a difference," I laughed as he rubbed his chest.

"I hope you're not cruel to kids," he half joked.

"Nope, just men."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because."

"That's not an answer, not a proper one," he retaliated.

"When you know more about me, maybe you will understand the importance of why I think anything with a dick…is a dick," I replied hotly.

"You're strange," he whispered.

"I'm a woman, live with it, Cullen."

After Edward left last night, I crawled into bed and fell straight asleep.

When I woke up, Lizzy was all but laying on my chest, staring into my eyes.

Not a thing I liked to have as soon as I woke up.

"You're gonna give me a heart attack one of these days," I giggled as I started to tickle her.

"Stop, momma!" she laughed loudly.

Finally after chastising Lizzy with another round of tickles, I backed down so I could go to the bathroom.

"Damn pregnancy," I grumbled half-jokingly as I finished and made my way to the kitchen.

Everyone was already there when I sat down.

"They always tell you that you forget the pain of childbirth when you see your baby for the first time, but they didn't tell you about the other things you forget. I mean, how could I have forgotten that I spent most of the time on the toilet or hanging over the toilet?" I grumbled as I poured a large bowl of cereal for myself and a smaller one for Lizzy.

"I see daddy today?" she asked sweetly as I passed her a spork.

Yeah, you heard right, a spork. As you can guess, it was a cross between a spoon and a fork and Lizzy used it for everything that she could eat.

"Yep, Ed- daddy is going to be coming soon, so we need to eat and then get you dressed, okay?" I asked as I raised my own spoon to my mouth.

"Me wear pretty dress for daddy?" she asked sweetly.

"If you want to," I managed to mumble round the now soggy cereal.

"You wear pretty dress for daddy too?" she asked.

I choked.

And then choked some more.

Damn it, I needed to pee.


	4. Chapter 4

Yesterday was as shitty as you could get.

I had an old lady beat me with her bag when she collapsed in triage when I went to catch her, a little kid threw up orange soda all over me and then to top it all off, a psych admittance went wrong and they got transferred to the ear nose and throat department. And of course it was _me_ that was sent to hunt down the patient and the idiot person who sent them there.

It wasn't until I had an interesting call with a certain three year old that things started to pick up… a lot.

After a shit long day in clinic, I had to speak to someone who would have cheered me up. My family was out of the question because they were as mad as I was at the moment, so that only left Bella.

She was in the bath, relaxing of course, so I spoke to Lizzy.

I don't think I would have gotten away with saying no, even if I wanted to.

She was a persistent little one, I'll tell you.

Then of course came the tears and I felt like I was being ripped in two.

I might have only been a dad for a few days in my book, but God, I was in it for the long haul.

I rushed round to see Lizzy as quickly as I could and I got there in time to tuck her in.

My head only just fitted through the door frame, I was that proud.

Anyway, I was on an emotional high.

I spoke to my daughter and she _wanted_ me.

She wanted _me_ to go to _her_ and read her a bedtime story.

I could actually tuck my little girl into bed.

It was amazing.

My night may have been made slightly better by Bella standing stark bollock naked – without the bollocks of course – in the doorway of Lizzy's room.

Thank God that Lizzy was asleep.

I had a boner the size of Texas, or damn near close and she was the only thing keeping me on the bed.

I might be naïve, but I'm not stupid.

Okay, maybe a little.

I wanted to skip all the way home.

Honestly, I really did.

If I didn't mind looking like a complete _fairy_, I would have done.

But I reigned in my feelings and told myself that I couldn't skip because my car would be left at Bella's.

Not that I would have minded, I could have used that as an excuse to go back.

Shame I didn't think about that until after I got home.

I had the best life.

I woke up this morning to a very garbled text message from Lizzy saying that she was ready to go.

At being only three, I had a hunch that maybe Bella had helped her out with it.

I didn't care though; I sent it to my emails so I could save it.

After that, I ignored all calls from my mother and grabbed a quick shower before jumping in the car to go see my girls.

Okay, to go and see my girl and possible girl.

I think I stood a good chance at getting Bella. I mean, come on. We already shared a daughter and another one on the way, so where was the harm in trying to get Bella's attention?

"No,"

"But I-,"

"No,"

"But,"

"No 'buts',"

"But,"

"What did I say?"

"But,"

"I said no,"

"Please daddy?"

"No,"

"Pretty please?"

"No,"

"I hate you!"

_"Fine,"_

"Thank-you daddy, hold still,"

So I did.

I wrestled with Lizzy for over half an hour, but I finally caved.

And I was doing so fucking well with saying no.

But the 'I hate you' made me cave.

I was now sitting on her tiny vanity stool by her tiny vanity dresser thingy and I was being made pretty.

Oh yeah, I mean it.

My hair was now in these fucked up little tufty bunch things and she was now getting dangerously close to putting nail varnish on me.

Did I forget to mention that I was already wearing make-up?

Yeah I was.

I hated it.

"Elizabeth, what on earth do you think you're doing?"

Busted!

Bella was stood in the doorway to Lizzy's room with a look of terror on her face.

"I make daddy pretty," she answered proudly as she continued to paint not just my nails, but my fingers too, all the way up the freakin' knuckles.

"Edward, you're her parent too, you should have said no," Bella half growled as she walked into the room with a huff and started to take everything away from Lizzy.

"I did say no, several times. She just didn't listen," it was my turn to huff.

"Lizzy, what have I told you about playing with Aunty Alice's stuff?"

Uh-oh.

"Not to," Lizzy at least had the decency to look down with a pouting lip. It was a shame that the glint in her eye couldn't be put out.

So much like her mother.

"Lizzy, you _will_ help daddy wash all of this off before we go to the park, or you're not going,"

"But,"

"No,"

"But,"

And it starts all over again.

"Higher, daddy!" Lizzy squealed as I pushed her a little higher on the swing set.

She must have taken after Emmett because I liked to keep my feet firmly on the floor at all times.

I didn't even like to fly.

Sorry, but I didn't trust tons of metal to stay in the air with a few engines.

Defies gravity.

Humans were not built to fly.

Simple.

"Higher!" she squealed again as Bella giggled next to me.

"Is she always like this?" I asked as I pushed her just a fraction harder.

"Mostly, but then most three years olds are demanding. You're lucky you didn't see her terrible twos! God, that little girl gave Alice a run for her money in the foot stomping contest," Bella laughed harder as I gawked at her.

"Really?" I asked, dumbfounded that this sweet little ball of energy could stomp her feet.

"Oh yeah, just you wait and see when Jasper doesn't give her horsey rides in the living room any longer. She used his ears as reins and he refused to do it after that. Now she screams until either Alice or I do it," Bella laughed again.

Yeah, this little girl takes after Emmett.

.

"We are not going to Pizza Hut," Bella said sternly as Lizzy who was sulking.

"Why not?" I asked in a whispered tone. I liked Pizza Hut and their ice cream factory thing.

"Because once she sees the ice cream factory, she refuses to eat the pizza," Bella answered as she started to steer Lizzy away from the place.

At least she took after me a little then.

We finally settled for a Happy Meal and even I had to have one.

I just couldn't say fucking no.

Well I could, she just didn't listen.

A couple of hours at the park turned into a makeover day for daddy, _then_ the park, then lunch, then we had to go back to Lizzy's house so we could draw and color what we did today.

Then at dinner time I had to stay until I met Uncle Jasper, who looked remarkably like a beach bum that Emmett used to hang about with, and then she asked me to bath her, which I actually shit myself about.

Everyone laughed when I made her wear her little swim suit in the tub, but I didn't care. I did not want to see my little girl naked. It seemed all kinds of wrong to me.

I hope to God our next child is a boy.

After her bath, she went into Alice's room and handed me a large t shirt.

"What's this for?" I asked, completely confused.

"Bedtime,"

"Bedtime? Bedtime for who?" I asked as I unfolded the shirt. It would have wrapped around her at least three times.

"For you silly," she giggled as she led me stupidly by the hand towards Bella's room.

Uh-oh.

"Lizzy, I have my own house to stay at, I can't stay here," I said to her with a pleading voice.

"Uh-huh, you stay here now. You're a daddy and you hafta stay with the mommy," she said happily as she pulled me towards the bed.

"Lizzy, honestly sweetheart, daddy can't stay here,"

"I want a mommy and a daddy and mommy and daddy hafta stay together," she pouted brilliantly and I caved.

I had my own reasons though.

I got to stay in Bella's bed.

Until Bella kicked me out of course.

Little red riding hood, Goldilocks and the three bears and something called bear in the blue house, or big blue house.

Anyway, those were the books I read to her and she still hadn't fallen asleep.

I thought toddlers and young kids napped and went to bed before it got dark outside, but I was obviously proven wrong.

She was currently lying on my chest in Bella's bed stroking the hair at the back of my neck.

I was at risk of going to sleep before she was.

"Daddy?" her sweet little voice sounded all sleepy and cute.

"Shh,"

"I love you," she said sleepily and then yawned before drifting off to sleep.

"I love you too, Princess,"

And I did.

I loved her unconditionally.

.

I couldn't breathe and my nose was painful.

Why was my nose painful?

I opened my eyes to see Bella glaring at me and was pinching my nose painfully.

"What?" I asked, my voice sounding fucked up.

"Would you mind explaining to me why you are asleep in my bed with our daughter on your chest?" she huffed loudly as she let go of my nose and left it tingling.

"She said I had to stay and gave me what I think was one of Jasper's tops to sleep in. I tried to say no, honestly I did, but she wouldn't listen. Then she got me to read her some books and then she said that she loved me as she played the hair at the back of my neck. How could I say no to any of that? I just couldn't and now you woke me up and I'm tired. Get into bed and snuggle up with us," I said tiredly as I held onto Lizzy and turned onto my side, ignoring the glare that Bella was throwing me.

"And all of that gives you the right to sleep in my bed and not hers?" I heard her ask as she walked about the room, hopefully to get into bed with me.

"She said that she wanted a mommy and a daddy and that they had to share the same bed, take it up with her in the morning," I said through a yawn.

I felt the bed dip and the covers being moved. When I opened my eyes, I could see her climbing into bed.

Bonus!

"Get that grin off of your face, Cullen. In the morning we're sitting down with our little girl and are going to be explaining a few things. Now let the pregnant lady sleep," she yawned.

"Can I at least get a goodnight kiss?" I asked hopefully.

_SLAP!_

"I take that as a no then," I said as I rubbed my forehead.

"Sleep, Cullen."


	5. Chapter 5

Alice learned years ago not to share a bed with me and Lizzy always got too hot and bothered to stay with me.

Edward didn't seem to mind though.

Sometime through the night, Lizzy took herself back into her own room and I woke up to Edward murmuring things to my tits.

It was a nice way to wake up, but very, very strange at the same time.

First of all, no man had ever rubbed his scruffy chin and jaw over my skin. That was an eye opener, literally.

Secondly, as I mentioned above, he seemed to be talking to my tits.

And thirdly, his hand was trapped between my thighs.

I wasn't lucky enough to have them where I wanted them, you know, a little higher up perhaps, but they were between my legs all the same.

The problem with all of this was I needed to go to the bathroom.

I really wanted to stay there in bed and either fall back to sleep or ravage the man senseless, but my bladder won out.

Carefully moving his hand, I managed to wiggle my body away from him, letting his head hit my pillow and then I quickly skipped to the toilet before I exploded.

The other problem was once I was awake, that was it, I was awake for the rest of the day.

I could have just dealt with it and got back into bed anyway, but I couldn't.

Lizzy was like me and I already knew she would be waking up any minute now.

Sulking, I walked into the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee.

If I couldn't drink the stuff, maybe the scent of the coffee would wake me up enough.

"Maybe not," I groaned as I let my head fall onto the table in front of me.

"Morning, Mommy," Lizzy sang as she walked into the kitchen.

That, she got from her father, without a doubt.

I didn't have it in my genetics to be cheery in the mornings.

"Morning baby girl, did you sleep okay?" I asked as the first wave of nausea hit.

"Uh-huh," she replied as I poured her a bowl of cereal, chanting to myself not to be sick.

I won that round.

By the time she had finished her breakfast, I heard the toilet flush.

He was awake.

Alice and Jasper went to stay at his place last night after they found out that Edward was staying over.

I don't understand why they just don't get married. They spend all their time together when they're not working, but apparently, they don't need to. A piece of paper doesn't prove how much they love each other.

Get me a bucket now, I think I'm going to puke.

"Good morning, Ladies," Edward chirped as he breezed into the kitchen and smiled at the pair of us.

I grunted.

"Daddy! You stayed!" Lizzy shrieked with happiness as I groaned.

"Of course I stayed," he answered her with a beaming smile and then a more carefully placed one at me.

"Lizzy, daddy can't stay here every night, you know that, right?" I asked carefully. I didn't want her to get upset with me.

"Why not?"

"Because daddy has his own house that he has to stay at," I replied, looking at Edward for a little input.

I didn't get any.

All of a sudden, he was brushing fake lint off of his sweater.

Bastard.

"But I want him to stay here with me," she pouted wonderfully for this time of the morning and I knew not to push the subject further for the moment. If she had a tantrum now, it would last all day.

"We'll talk about it more later," I replied grumpily.

I needed more sleep.

Lots and lots of sleep.

"Bella, I have to be at work this afternoon, would it be okay to stay with you two until then?" Edward asked carefully as he automatically helped Lizzy down from the table and watched her leave the kitchen.

"Sure," I replied somewhat happily.

Who knew having a God as a baby daddy would be so hard?

Honestly, I wanted to jump his bones there and then on the table, but I didn't know him.

All I knew was his age, where he lived and a few minor facts about his childhood, but not much more than that.

And that he was my daughter's daddy and we were expecting another one, despite never having gotten to know each other in the biblical sense.

The logic of this all was seriously fucked up.

The rest of the day flew by and by the time Edward had left; Lizzy was so tired that we both took a nap.

Before Edward did leave, I broke the news to him that I had my scan in the morning and that he was more than welcome to come along.

He jumped at the chance.

.

So here I was, first thing on a Monday morning, trying not to pee my pants, literally, waiting outside the maternity department at our local hospital for my baby daddy.

He really did need to hurry up because my bladder was going to explode.

"Bella! I'm sorry I'm late, mom called this morning and I couldn't get her off of the phone for ages," Edward gasped as he ran to a stop in front of me then gripped his side with a stitch.

"No problem, let's just get in there so they can scan and I can pee," I whimpered.

"You should really have gone before you left this morning, Bella. Holding onto urine can increase your chances of kidney infections," he said seriously.

"Edward, you did go to medical school, right?" I asked as I grabbed his super soft hand and led him through the automatic doors.

"Of course," he replied with a hint of 'well duh' attitude.

"Did you fall asleep in the lesson when they taught about pregnant women needing a full bladder for a scan?" I asked with a giggle.

"I think I had chicken pox that lesson," he griped as we got to the reception.

I signed myself in and glared at the lady behind the desk as she eyed my companion, ignoring me.

"You do know that Dr. Cullen is my fiance, father of our three year old little girl plus another on the way, don't you?" I growled at her, slightly going over board with the whole 'fiance' thing.

"Huh?" she asked, refusing to take her eyes off of Edward.

"Listen, Missy, Man – mine, Job – yours. If you want to keep it, get your eyes off of him," I growled again as Edward giggled like a school girl.

"The doctors are running about twenty minutes late this morning. A doctor was late in," she simpered towards Edward.

Bitch.

"If I find out that it was your brother that was late this morning because he wanted his damn coffee again, he won't be having kids this side of the millennium," I huffed as I took some leaflets from the counter and sat down.

"Emmett will be here?" Edward asked with a confused tone.

"Yeah, I haven't got round to changing doctors yet," I whispered, feeling slightly guilty that A, I still had Edward's brother as my doctor and B, I hadn't told his brother about Edward, the new baby or that Lizzy was, in fact, his niece.

In my defense, Edward hadn't told his family about the new baby either and none of his family had told Emmett anything about Lizzy.

They left that all on my shoulders.

Lovely.

"I need to pee," I groaned as my knee started to bounce.

"Bella, you're thinking in a negative way, think happy, positive thoughts," Edward mused as he looked at a baby book.

What the fuck!

Was he freakin' Peter fucking Pan?

"Fine, I'll think positive thoughts," I growled, "I'm gonna pee myself, I'm gonna pee myself…"

"Bella, please, you're making me want to go now," Edward moaned as he crossed his legs.

"I can't stand this," I got up and went to find a nurse.

When I did spot one, I ran to her side.

"Miss, I really need to go to the toilet, but my scan is soon. I promise to sit here and drink a shed load of water, but please say I can go to the toilet now before it starts leaking out of me uncontrollably," I whimpered at her horrified face.

"Yeah, sure, just try and hold some in, you know, just let out a little bit," she answered hesitantly.

"Have you ever tried to stop peeing when you have a baby using your bladder as a mattress?" I asked with a growl as I walked off to the toilet.

Pure bliss.

Heaven.

I felt like I could breathe.

"Feel better?" Edward asked with a grin as I sat back down.

"You try holding in that much fluid," I bitched back at him as I pulled out a bottle of water from my purse.

"No thanks," he laughed.

"Bella Swan?" a nurse called my name from a clip board and I jumped up, eager to get this part of the appointment out of the way.

"You want me to come with you?" Edward asked expectantly.

"Sure," I shrugged a shoulder then followed the nurse to be weighed and bitched at for my lack of bladder control.

Once I was thoroughly horrified over my weight gain, we were ushered into another room for the scan.

"I hate these gowns," I moaned as I folded up my clothes and put them on the spare chair in the corner, failing to keep my gown together at the back.

"Oh, I don't know, the view is pretty good," Edward mused as he eyed my ass with a grin.

"And if you want to see any more of that view, you'll stop staring at it for now," I retaliated.

"Well, good morning, Bella Swan, long time no- _FUCK!_" And that would be Emmett Cullen making a grand appearance.

"Long time no fuck, indeed, Dr. Cullen," I grinned widely, knowing full well that we have never and _would_ never fuck.

"What the hell are you doing here, Eddie bro?" Emmett asked, completely ignoring me.

"Well, as Bella so eloquently put it in the reception area, I'm her fiance, father to Lizzy and another one on the way," he grinned wickedly at his brother.

"How-why-what?" Emmett spluttered.

"Emmett, Lizzy is Edward's daughter and he is the father of this one," I carefully said, pointing to my tummy.

"How?" he spluttered again.

"Well, Emmett, when a couple loves each other…"Edward started to talk and I giggled.

"I know that, you idiot! I mean, Bella, in your records… Oh shit! That night… You… Drunk… Crying…Sperm bank… Pretty girl…Bella… Baby..." Emmett's body crumpled onto my pile of clothes as he went deathly pale.

"Surprise!" I said weakly.

"No shit," he grunted.

Once Emmett was over the shock of being the world's best uncle, he told me to hop up onto the couch bed thing and started up the scanning machine thingy.

"Does mom know?" he asked Edward as he started running the bottle of gel under the hot tap.

"She knows about Lizzy, but not about the baby or how they came to be," Edward winced as he spoke.

"And does Lizzy know about you and the baby?"

"Yep," Edward said proudly, popping the 'p' with a smile.

"So you're going to be a dad, again?"

"Yep."

"And Bella is okay with you being in your kids' lives?"

"Hello, Bella is in the room showing off her hoo-ha, so how about at least including me in the conversation," I growled.

"Shit, sorry, sister," he grinned.

Sister?

"Sister?" It was my turn to splutter.

"Well yeah, you just said that he was your fiance and that you have kids together. So…Welcome to the family, sister," he grinned as he picked up a huge thing with a lead.

"What the hell is that?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"A scanning wand thing, I can never remember the name of it," he chuckled as he slipped a cheap condom over it.

"Why the fuck are you getting Harry Potter's wand ready to put near me? That thing isn't going anywhere near me!" I hollered. It was over a foot long!

"Bella, this is an internal wand thingy. You emptied your bladder, so I will have to use this," he replied somewhat apologetically.

"Fine, but please rest assured that I will no longer have you being my doctor after this," I huffed.

"Aw, and I liked our meetings so much," he chuckled as Edward growled.

It took a few minutes to get things settled and started.

It felt really uncomfortable.

I didn't know what was worse.

Emmett doing this to me.

Edward being next to me while Emmett was doing this to me.

Or having an _internal_ scan being performed by Emmett while Edward was next to me.

"Here we go, ladies and gentleman. Your first glimpse at the next Cullen baby - _shit!_" Emmett sucked in a huge breath as he started pushing button and wiggling round the wand.

"Hey, my internal organs are in there as well," I huffed.

"Erm, Bella, Edward, you gotta see this," he said in awe as Edward stood up to look at the screen and I craned my neck to see.

"What, what is it?" I asked worriedly.

"Twins," Edward gasped before going white.

Sheet white.

His eyes fluttered slightly before he hit the floor.

"Edward!" I screeched from the bed, wand still in me and Emmett chanting 'twins' over and over.

"Emmett! Your brother!" I almost screamed.

"Oh, he's fine, Bella," he said nonchalantly with a wave of his hand, "just let him sleep it off. You're having twins!"

Oh shit.


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry, I should have pointed this out sooner. Yes, this is a re-post (mildly edited to curb the 'adult' stuff) and also, I have a very twisted sense of humor sometimes... I would say sorry, but it's too much fun lol.**

* * *

><p>Pounding.<p>

I had a deep pounding sensation at the side of my head.

Twins.

_Pound_.

Twins.

_Pound_.

Twins!

"Oh shit!" I moaned before opening my eyes.

"Hey, welcome back to the land of the living," my brother chuckled from the chair next to the bed.

I was in a bed.

Well, on the examination couch.

In the scan room.

"Bella?"

"She went to the toilet. I don't think her body could make up its mind about peeing or puking, so she's gone to do both, I think," Emmett laughed as he bit into a Starbucks' brownie.

"Twins," I said again.

Bella only had a three bedroom house. How the hell was she going to accommodate two extra babies?

"Yep, twins," Emmett mused.

"Two," I muttered.

"Well, the term 'twins' does in fact point to two, so yes, twins, two, dos, deux zwei, _twins_," he said happily.

"What's got you so cheerful?" I asked as I sat up slowly.

"_You_ have to explain it to mom," he chuckled as he threw the wrapper in the trash and stood up. "Good luck with that, Bro. Tell Bella I'll see her in three weeks," he finished talking and then walked out of the room.

Leaving me sitting here.

On my own.

With twins.

When Bella came back into the room, we both stayed silent.

Just looking at the scan picture of our babies.

It looked like they were holding hands sweetly.

Or arm wrestling.

I left my car at work and went with Bella when she drove home.

We needed to talk and I needed to say a few things.

When we pulled up to the house, it just screamed that it was too small.

It was a beautiful house, but way too small.

"How about we both sell our houses and get something bigger, together," I blurted out as I helped her out of the car.

"What?" she looked at me like I had sprouted two heads.

Or twins.

"Well, it makes sense. I have a condo with one bedroom and you have a small three bedroom house with Alice and Jasper staying with you on and off. It makes perfect sense to combine our places and get something bigger for the babies and Lizzy," I said quietly as we walked up the small garden path.

"You're saying that after just a week of knowing us, you want us to sell our houses and move in together?" she asked as we walked through the front door.

It was quiet.

Too quiet.

"Where's Lizzy?" I asked.

"With dad," she answered with a strange smile.

"What's funny?" I asked, not liking where this was going. She had been very mute on her family members.

"Dad will be here soon, you get to meet him," she grinned.

I needed a drink.

Was it too early to start drinking?

"Bella, we've just learned that we're having twins, do I really need anything else to push me over the edge today?" I asked, watching in awe as she started making a triple decker sandwich.

"All the more reason to get everything out of the way today then," she replied happily as she started pulling out all sorts of fillings.

"Bella, do you really need to eat all of that?" I hedged carefully as she started to growl.

"A, it has nothing to do with you and B, I need to eat for three now," she replied as she sat down at the table with her food.

"Bella," I warned.

_Growl_

"I'll shut up now," I said carefully as I sat next to her.

"Good boy," she giggled.

.

I was pacing the floor, wearing a hole in her rug.

"How long?" I muttered.

"About ten minutes, honestly, Edward, chill out. So what if he's the Chief of police and carries a gun?" she laughed as I groaned deeply.

"I knocked up his daughter! That's the problem, but what makes it worse is that I've done it twice! And the second time was with twins! I haven't even proposed, or asked his permission, or gotten a house for you four, hell, we haven't even been on a first date! We haven't even kissed! Will you kiss me before he kills me?" I whimpered as I stopped pacing and knelt at her feet.

"Please, Bella, kiss me before he kills me, just so I can die with a smile on my face," I pleaded as she laughed.

"If I kiss you, will you shut up?" she asked with a smile.

"Hopefully," I grinned back shyly.

Before I could do anything else, she leaned forward and planted her beautiful, soft lips onto mine and I was taken to heaven.

At least I didn't die at the hands of her father, or his _gun_ for that matter.

It was amazing.

Chaste, but amazing all the same.

"Amazing, huh?" she giggled round my lips as I pulled away from her.

"Yeah, do you want to do it again just to prove the fact?" I asked cheekily.

"Later, my dad's just pulled up outside," she replied with a laugh when she saw my face pale.

"Did you have to tell me that?" I groaned as she stood up and I planted my face into the warm cushions where her taught ass had been sat.

"Did you just want to stay attached to my lips while he was here until he went home?" she asked with a smirk as she went to the front door.

"I wouldn't have minded that," I mumbled as I stood up.

"_DADDY!"_ Lizzy screamed as she ran past Bella and straight into my legs.

"Owww," I groaned as her head planted itself right between my legs.

_Pain, Pain, pain._

"Hi, welcome home, I'm the chopped liver, if you didn't guess," Bella muttered dryly.

"I don't like liver, Mommy," Lizzy replied with a scrunched up face.

I picked her up from the ground as pain carried on radiating through my groin area.

"I know that, sweetheart, it's just a figure of speech," Bella answered her as if nothing was wrong with me.

I felt like I was dying.

Thank God I _did_ go to that sperm bank because I think my dick was now broken.

"Dad, this is Edward, Edward, this is my dad," Bella said quietly as she threw me a strange look.

I brushed the look off as I turned to Bella's dad.

"Damn dude, you have a pet caterpillar!" _SHIT!_

"Shit damn fuck, damnit, Lizzy, go to your room until I can shut my mouth up," I whimpered as I put her on the ground.

"But I not naughty, you are, you go to _your_ room!" she huffed loudly as I prayed and willed for the ground to open up and swallow me.

"Okay," I replied as my shoulders slumped in defeat and my feet started moving.

I managed to take two paces towards Bella's room before I was yanked back by my collar.

"Hold it there, mister… Lizzy, please be a sweetheart and get daddy a bottle of water, he's not feeling too well," Bella asked sweetly then turned back to me with a slight glare in her eyes. "Let's do this again, forgoing the pet animals, Dad, this is Edward, Edward, this is my dad," Bella ground out through clenched teeth.

"I am so sorry, Sir, to imply that your soup strainer of a mustache was a pet, I meant no disrespect to you or your gun… you do have a gun with you, yes? Anyway, I realize that I have done things completely backwards with regards to your daughter's virtue, so I would like to set the record straight. We have just experienced our first kiss, tomorrow hopefully we can have our first date and hopefully by Wednesday I will be putting a ring on her finger. After that, we can set a date before her next scan and then we have to sell both of our houses and get a bigger one for all of us. If we can't find something, I'm sure we'll have time to build one, I'm a trust fund baby and I can afford not to work if I don't have to, so I can support her," I was almost crying by the time I had finished rambling to the man standing in front of me.

"And Edward suffers from a condition call IMS, Irritable Mouth Syndrome," Bella smirked at me.

_SMIRKED!_

"And you think your mother is bad, Bells, wait 'til I tell her what this yahoo is like," he smiled as he pointed at me.

Huh?

"What?" I asked dumbly as Lizzy started to hit my leg with a water bottle.

"My mother, well, she's a little different," Bella cringed and Charlie laughed.

"Let's just say that she got stuck in the '60's and leave it at that," Charlie laughed again as he bent down to Lizzy's level.

"Lizzy, I have to go back home now, so give me some love before I leave you with these two idiots," he chuckled as Lizzy jumped into his arms.

Idiots?

I looked at Bella and she looked back at me, but then shrugged.

Oh well.

"Right you two, I'm off. Behave and make sure you set a good example to my grand baby, okay? Oh and Edward, I like your plan, I really do, but maybe you should actually sit down with my daughter and discuss it _together_?" he chuckled again as he walked out of the front door.

"I'm in the freaking twilight zone again," I muttered as I sat down on the couch.

"Silly, daddy, Twilight is a film that mommy watches. It has a cute guy in it," Lizzy said as if I was the thickest guy in the universe.

Worse than that, my daughter thought a guy was cute!

Oh. Hell. No!


	7. Chapter 7

Edward stayed at my house again.

In all fairness, it was my fault this time.

I had major backache and went to lie down, so he kinda followed.

Alice and Jasper had taken Lizzy to the movies to see the Lion King in 3D and was having her for the night and I just needed to chill out.

Anyway, Edward followed me to bed, worried about me and then started to rub my back.

I was settled between his legs, so he was stuck between me and the headboard.

The problem with that was that I fell asleep and he couldn't move.

.

Tuesday morning came quickly, but too quickly for my liking.

I didn't want to get up from bed where it was all warm and cozy, especially since Edward was wrapped round my body, but it was my turn to open up the book shop.

I also needed to think about the fact that we were now having twins.

Was it wrong of me to actually think about Edward's offer to sell up both houses and get a place together? I mean, fine, I knew him for just over a week now, but Christ, you can't say we're moving too fast in getting a house together when we have kids together.

God, could this situation get anymore fucked up?

_Famous last words, Bella, you still have to tell the rest of your families about the babies._

Mom and dad knew that I was pregnant again, obviously, but I didn't tell dad yesterday about the scan results because God help us if I tell him something without my mom being there.

Edward on the other hand, I don't really know why he didn't call his parents yesterday.

When I met his mom and dad, they seemed pretty normal. Okay, so his mom was a little iffy, but she's certainly no worse than my own mother.

Hopefully.

"Bella, have you finished day dreaming? I need to pee," Edward moaned at the bathroom door as I showered.

"Just come in here and do what you have to do," I said as I rinsed my hair.

"Are you sure?" he asked as he stuck his head through the door with his eyes firmly squeezed shut.

"No, I just said it for the pure hell of it," I growled playfully. "Just don't flush the toilet while I'm still under the spray," I finished as I reached for the conditioner.

"My shift doesn't start until two, so do you think I could come to work with you and we can start planning things like your dad advised?" he muttered sleepily while he used the toilet.

Twilight zone or what.

"Sure," I mumbled in reply.

Once we had woken up a little and had breakfast, we stumbled out of the door and into my car.

When we got to work, Edward started rattling on about how I would have to cut back my work hours and to not lift anything.

Stupid dumb fuck.

"How do you think I managed when I was pregnant with Lizzy?" I growled as a customer walked in the door.

"But my point is that you don't have to manage anymore, I'm here to help you," he mumbled as the lady glared at him like a piece of meat.

Was this something I would have to get used to? Women eye fucking my man?

_My_ man?

That shit just sounded too funny, even to me.

"Bella, this lady wants to know if you have the _Karma Sutra guide for cougars_," Edward blushed bright red as he whispered to me.

Poor boy.

"I don't have it in stock, but I can certainly order it in," I replied sweetly to him as I kissed his cheek.

The bitch can back off if she thinks she could get her acrylic claws into him.

After she left in a huff, Edward stayed in the stock room, refusing to talk to any other women.

"Bella?" Edward called out to me with just the very tip of his head poking out of the door.

"Yeah?" I replied as I finished serving an old man who needed a book on old fashioned lawn mowers.

"Can I talk to you, please?"

"Sure, let me go grab a cookie," I answered as I walked round the counter to the other side of the shop, grabbed a triple chocolate cookie and made my way over to him.

"What's up?" I asked pleasantly when I saw that he wouldn't open the door to me.

"Nothing more than usual," he muttered as he handed me a piece of paper.

"What's this?" I asked as I saw a print out of my house, a condo and another house.

"I managed to do a Google search on the details of both of our houses and worked out that we could afford to buy this house and have money left over to decorate it and re-landscape the garden," he muttered with a blush.

"Edward, this house is freaking huge! Why do we need so much space?" I giggled as he blushed deeper, "and why won't you let me in my own store room?" I tacked on as an afterthought.

"I-I was thinking about bedrooms," he blushed furiously and that piqued my curiosity.

"Why would thinking about bedr-, oh, you got a hard on about what we could get up to and you don't want me to see?" I giggled a little as he looked down to the floor.

"Edward, how about us getting to know each other as _friends_ before we move to the _bedroom_, okay?" I said gently as I handed him back the info on the house.

"Sure," he replied, crestfallen.

"Friends can still kiss, you know?" I hedged, wanting to cheer him up slightly.

"Yeah?"

"Of course," I giggled at the sight of the smile on his face.

He was just so damn cute.

.

We had two days to come up with a game plan about telling our families about the babies- in my parent's case – and how the babies actually got there – in his parent's case.

And we still had no clue on how to actually say it to them.

I was all for just blurting it out and getting it over and done with, but Edward had other plans.

He wanted to take both sets of parents out for dinner and use my parents – because they knew about the clinic – as a buffer to tell his parents.

Yeah, I was so not going for that idea.

I wasn't exactly too keen about having my parents meet his just yet. I mean, his mom came across as the Martha Stewart of the family and my mom resembled some batty old woman who still got high when she made hemp hanging baskets for her copious amounts of spider plants.

You could imagine how that night would go down. Esme would swap recipes for wholesome brownies and my mom would give her hash cakes in return.

Yeah, _so_ not going there.

"So what do you want us to do, just walk in there and say 'hey rents, guess what? I knocked up my girl by freezing my sperm 'cuz my brother's a dick and couldn't handle the fact that I was just a good kid, so I went to a clinic to prove a point. Nine months later out pops Lizzy and I didn't even know Bella was up the stick with not one, but two more when I first met her just a week or so ago, congratulations grandparents!' Yeah, Bella, that would go down really well," he scoffed tiredly as he rested his head on my kitchen table.

Poor Lizzy walked in the room, took one look at her daddy pouring his heart out, rolled her eyes and walked back out again.

"Edward, have you been drinking, or using drugs by any chance?" I whispered, not wanting Lizzy to hear.

"Noooo, just a thirty six hour shift, no sleep, no coffee and no sleep," he murmured as he brought his arms over his head in a weird head holding position.

"Well, why don't you go to sleep for a little while and I'll wake you up for dinner, how does that sound?" I said gently, but before I could get an answer, he was snoring.

Shit.

What was it with him falling asleep at my house?

Honestly, since that day in the park, we hadn't spent a night away from each other and it was doing my head in.

I was now twelve weeks and six days pregnant, and sailed into the second trimester.

I also sailed into the land of horny momma.

Was Edward willing to help me with a little tension relief?

Hell no, he didn't want to bruise the babies heads or give them black eyes!


	8. Chapter 8

**EPOV**

I caught man flu and I was over the moon about it.

Honestly, I felt as though I was on death's door, but I was smiling.

Wanna know why?

A, I had two beautiful girls looking after me, i.e. Bella and Lizzy, and B, I avoided my parents and the showdown that was surely going to happen if I told them how Lizzy came about.

Call me a wimp if you will, but I was just pure genius.

That was until I felt as though I had coughed up my left lung.

Then of course it all snowballed.

Mom wanted to come and look after me, but Bella had to explain to her that I was actually in Bella's bed and I think, _just think_, that there may have been a slight showdown on who was more qualified to look after me.

In the end, Lizzy got on the other phone and told them that she was my nurse, but she would be sweet enough to let them supervise.

Both women shut up pretty damn quick.

.

I was dying.

Physically I felt as though I had been hit by a bus and mentally I was on death's door because Bella refused to wear anything round the house apart from a large baggy Tee and these skimpy panties that looked as though they were cutting her in two.

That meant that every time she bent over, I got a good glimpse of things I would prefer not to have.

Don't get me wrong, I wanted to look and possibly do a lot more than that, but I also had the mental image of our babies knowing what we got up to.

Could you imagine it?

Several years down the line and them turning around saying 'oh, so you're the bastard that gave me a headache?'

Okay, so they wouldn't _actually_ say that… well I hoped that they wouldn't, but you couldn't blame me for being hesitant.

I think I've had too many meds.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"I don't know, come back later."

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Barbara!"

"Barbara who?"

"Barbara black sheep, have you any wool...!"

"Knock knock."

"Lizzy, please, no more 'knock knock jokes," I pleaded.

This had been going on for the last hour.

We had a storm in the early hours of this morning and we were still waiting for the electricity to go back on, which meant we had a bored little girl with way too much time on her hands.

"Okay," she pouted and scampered.

Two minutes later she was back by my side on the couch, just staring at me.

"What?" I finally asked.

"Nothing."

"Don't tell me that, what are you thinking?"

"Nothing."

"Lizzy?" I whined like a little school girl.

"I'm bored."

"So why don't you do something?" I said.

"There's nothing to do," she pouted and I wanted to roll my eyes.

This girl was kitted out with every toy known to man and she was bored!

"There's always something to do," I laughed painfully, my chest still feeling as though an elephant had made its home in there.

"Can I tell you another joke?" she asked sweetly as I groaned.

"Time to get up, Edward, you need to go to the doctors," Bella said firmly from somewhere between my sleeping and waking world.

"I'm fine, it's just a cold," I groaned as I rolled over, taking the pillow with me and covered my head with it.

"I know _you're_ fine, I'm taking you to the doctor so he can talk some sense into that thick head of yours and then we can get _jiggy with it_," she whined as she pulled the pillow off of my head and threw it across the other side of the room.

"I don't want to go out, if I do, I'll have to admit that I'm feeling better and then I'll have to go and talk to mom and dad about the babies and I just can't face that yet," I whined back in the same tone.

"Well, that's tough luck because Lizzy invited all of her grandparents over for afternoon tea, so you'll have to think of something fast if you want to avoid them," she laughed as she walked out of the room and I felt as though someone chucked a bucket of ice cold water over me.

My parents.

Bella's parents.

In Bella's house.

Having afternoon tea.

This day was going to shit.

"Dr. Cullen, need I remind you that you went through quite a lot of OB-GYN training not that many years ago. Need I also remind you that you know full well how protected the babies are and that you will cause no harm to them," Dr. 'whatshisface' said firmly, trying so hard to keep the grin off of his smug face.

"Do you have children? Huh? Have you ever had the mental images of trying to make love while knowing full well that the babies can _hear_ things?" I huffed as Bella giggled.

"Edward, it's not that bad, honestly. Do you really think that husbands and boyfriends go nine months without having sex because the baby might or might not hear anything?" She was full on laughing now and it made me want to pout like a five year old.

"You think my fears are funny?" I huffed again and even crossed my arms over my chest. If I wasn't sitting down, I might have even stomped my feet like Lizzy did, just for added effect, of course.

"I do not think your fears are funny, or any other concern you have, but you know this is bordering on insane. You want it, I want it-,"

"Annnnd our time is up," the doctor blushed as he cut Bella off from saying anything further.

"Okay, doctor, you made your point. Two horny parents is not what you want just after lunch," she laughed again as both the doctor and I blushed and she stood up.

"Come on, Mister, we need to save our daughter from our evil parents," she said with a smile as she held out her hand to me.

On the way home we whined and bitched about our current situation and I finally gave in.

We were going to have sex.

Okay, not straight away, she insisted on a minimum of three dates, _without_ our daughter. I was okay with that and I even added my own set of 'rules'.

We had to start off slow, very slow and we would stop if she felt the babies move, because if they moved, they would be awake and I didn't want them to hear _anything_ that we would get up to.

"Edward, I know you're really into keeping the kids safe and all, but could you speed up just a little bit?" she whined as I looked at my speedometer.

I was just touching the speed limit.

"Bella, I'm sorry, but you and the babies aren't going to be put in danger by my driving, I'm sticking to the speed limit," I said firmly, turning my eyes back to the road.

"Well then, now I know that, you'll just have to replace the heated leather seat when my bladder decides to explode over it, won't you," she said sweetly.

We made it home quicker than normal due to the fact that Bella desperately needed the toilet and I couldn't face replacing the leather seat in the car.

I helped her out of the car and when I finally managed to get in the front door behind her, I froze.

My mother, was half asleep on the sofa, cuddled up to my father, who also looked dazed and Bella's mother was filling in Alice on the benefits of herbal relaxants.

My parents were stoned!


	9. Chapter 9

**BPOV**

"I hope to God that you didn't give any to Lizzy," I hissed as I came out of the bathroom and glared at my mother.

"Not at all, baby girl, we had brownies with adult ingredients and she had cookies with chocolate milk," mom smiled sweetly at me as she continued to paint Alice's nails in alternating fluorescent colors.

"Mom, what have I told you about having that stuff around the house. I know dad is okay with it because it keeps you somewhat quiet, but please, not around here and certainly not around Edward's parents," I whined as I went into the kitchen, grabbed the airtight box of 'brownies' and threw them in the bin, covering them in wash liquid to ruin them.

"Now, Bella, there's nothing wrong with a little _help_ to relax after a stressful day," mom chided me from the living room.

When I walked back in, poor Edward was still standing in the same position by the door, looking completely horrified.

"Mom, enough, not in my house," I stressed out through gritted teeth.

Christ, we'd just got over the sex issue this morning and now he was going to have another issue with my parents. If that wasn't enough to frighten off anyone, I didn't know what else would.

I was a respectable girl, I had always maintained good grades, I owned my house and ran a really good business. My father was respected in this town and as the chief of police, he should have known better, but no, he let her do it.

"Where's dad?" I asked grumpily as I flopped down on to the couch next to Esme and Carlisle.

"He's out the back with Jasper and Lizzy. They're trying to get her to burn off some energy for her afternoon nap. She's having none of it so far," Alice giggled happily, but slowly as she replied.

She was fucking stoned too!

Hang on, hang on, hang on.

What did mom mean about relaxing after a stressful day?

"Mom, why would today be stressful?" I asked cautiously.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, Edward, Emmett came over today after he called this morning and heard about our little lunch date," mom giggled before continuing, "and he kind of let something slip," she giggled again, but this time she held her fingers over her mouth to 'shh' herself.

"Mom? What did he let slip?" I said through gritted teeth as I looked at a very pale Edward.

"Oh, nothing of consequence, dear, just that my son decided to take things into his own hands, literally," Esme sighed into the crook of Carlisle's shoulder.

He, in turn, angled his body into her touch and started to rub his hand up and down her thigh.

"No dry humping on my couch!" I hollered out as it became painfully clear that Emmett had told his parents about Edward's little trip to the clinic.

"Chill out, Bella dear, it's all good, babies come into this world in so many different ways now, test tubes are no different…" Esme mumbled as she started _nipping _at Carlisle's neck.

"Esme! No hanky panky near Bella, she'll get jealous," mom laughed and Alice giggled along with her.

Hanky panky?

"Oh, she doesn't need to be jealous; Edward has my big C's genetics. No reason to be jealous at all," she crooned, her eyes still shut as Carlisle smirked against her skin.

"HEY! If I can't get it under my roof, you sure as hell can't. DAD!" I bellowed as I stood up.

Damn fucking parents.

"What sweetie?" he asked as I walked out of the back door and saw that Lizzy was clung to his leg and one of Jasper's, causing them to do this funny three legged walk across the lawn.

"Do you realize that mom got Edward's parents stoned and that they are now dry humping on my couch while Edward has frozen by the front door?" I growled.

I knew I couldn't expect Jasper to help out in anyway as he had to deal with Alice and that was a mission in itself, but dad could have tried to be the adult out of all of them.

"I know, sweetie, why do you think I'm out here keeping an eye on Lizzy? It's not like I could actually do anything about your mom, and I really don't want to see two grown-ups humping, so I stayed out here, where it's safe," he chuckled as Jasper started to laugh.

I turned around to see what he was looking at and I caught Alice in the window pulling funny faces at me.

"That's it!" I shouted as I turned back to face dad.

"Take the keys to my truck and deliver the Cullen's back home and make sure you take mom with you," I growled out as I walked over to the pair of them and gently yanked Lizzy from their legs.

"Lizzy, it's time for your nap while me and your dad have to have a long chat," I said through gritted teeth and walked back towards the house.

"Oh and Jasper, take Alice home and kindly tell her that she's running the store for the next week as punishment," I smiled wickedly as I let the back door slam.

I ignored all verbal communications as I walked through the sitting room, grabbed hold of Edward's hand and frog marched us to Lizzy's room.

We waited in silence as she finally gave in to her tired eyes and then we crept out of the room in silence.

I didn't give a shit if anyone was still left in the house or not, I knew dad would have locked up the doors on his way out, so all was good.

Except for Edward.

He was still silent.

Should I try and slap him, you know, to try and get him to snap out of it?

Nah, I twisted his nipple instead.

He yelped like a little girl and then glared at me.

Oops.

"Did you know that your mother got my parents high on narcotics while visiting today and not only that, my brother informed everyone that I went to a sperm bank!" he hissed.

"Yes, that information didn't escape my notice, but at least they didn't have a go at you and as an added bonus, I got a week off of work for the hassle and now we have time to date, have sex and house hunt," I grinned sheepishly in reply.

"I suppose there is that," he mused.

.

I had seven days off this week.

We had managed to avoid all parental phone calls and dodged all visits as we took the phone off of the hook, locked and chained the doors and pulled down the blinds.

It was a good job that I'd done a big shop the week before.

Unfortunately, we didn't even manage to have either a date _or_ an orgasm because Lizzy got ill and wouldn't leave us alone for five minutes, even in bed.

We did, however, manage to look online for some houses and we found a couple that we both liked.

That was an issue in itself as our tastes varied so much.

While I liked traditional features, Edward liked the more modern look, less cluttered and busy.

That's when we had our first semi-kind of- argument.

It wasn't enough to even warrant make-up sex, which I fully pouted for, but I was working on it.

Anyway, I kindly informed him that we would soon be having three children with toys and mess following them, so there was no way that I would be living in a clinic style home.

He thought that he would be able to get the kids to pick up after themselves and that we could 'train' them to be clean and tidy.

I laughed.

"You _have _seen Lizzy's room, right?" was all I had to say on the matter and he shut up.

After that, we looked at a few more houses and I had to reign him back in after he saw a seven bedroom house with three reception rooms and God knows what else.

There was no way we needed a house that size.

"I have one child here and two on the way using a sperm bank, I am at least going to put _one _in you that came directly from me," was all he had to say on the matter and I shut up.


	10. Chapter 10

**EPOV**

"_Edward Anthony Masen Cullen_, Bella is now _sixteen weeks_ pregnant and that means that I have not seen you for nearly a _month_. You can't hide for much longer," mom shouted through Bella's letter box.

The hell I couldn't.

I could hide for as long as I liked if it meant that she wouldn't scream at me, or save me from having more visions of dear mommy and daddy humping like rabbits at Easter.

_I was doing an expert job so far, wasn't I?_ I thought as I stealthy backed away, ignoring the stout figure on the other side of the door.

Okay, so at work it was pretty hard because mom was around dad when he was a resident and she knew all the good hiding places, but I was _better_. My office had a good view of the private parking lot that mom had a pass to, so if she pulled up, I ran off.

I made sure not to go to the first floor canteen, but to the basement one. Yeah I know, it was fucked up to have a canteen by the morgue, but you couldn't help the way they worked the plans.

Anyway, I was becoming really stealth at avoiding her.

I was a pro!

"Caught!" Lizzy giggled snottily as she jumped onto the bed.

"Yep, now what do I have to do to get you to release me?" I chuckled as she snuggled up to my side.

"Ice cream?" she asked, full of hope and excitement.

"Nope, your momma is home soon and if I give in to you, she'll make me sleep on the couch for the next month," I laughed as she pouted beautifully, snot at all.

"What she don't know, don't hurt," she said sweetly, dropping the pout instantly.

Damn Alice.

"Just because Auntie Alice says that, doesn't mean that I'm going to listen to her." I laughed again as Lizzy's face changed once again to the awesome pout.

"Not falling for it," I sung playfully as I pulled her up to sit on my chest.

"You mean," she pouted again.

"And you're a dangerous young madam, now how about we start dinner before your momma gets here?" I said with a smile as I kissed the tip of her small button nose and helped her get down from the bed.

Dinner – Check

Lizzy bathed and in bed – Check

Bella still ignoring me - Check

Bella's bubble bath run – Check

One headache from hell – Check

Bella came home from work in a foul mood and no matter what I said or did, she still wasn't talking to me.

It was only after I sent a text off to Alice that I found out what had happened.

My mother, in all her glory, thought it would be a good idea to shadow Bella _all _day in the hopes that she would piss her off enough for Bella to cave and give her the spare door key.

Now, as much as my mom was a kick ass mom, she had _nothing_ on Bella.

She didn't cave.

She was polite and accommodating, providing refreshments and even treated mom to lunch, but she never caved.

I was safe for another day.

From mom.

Not from Bella.

Bella was now making me pay for what she had to endure during the day.

At least I tried to stay on her good side by doing dinner and getting Lizzy in bed.

"I can't believe she started talking about what positions she tried when she was pregnant with you and your idiot brother… I do _not _need to know about those two bumping uglies… and to top it off, she told me she swapped details with my parents… she wants mom's _cooking_ recipes… and Carlisle said that he would love to _'chill out'_ with dad and go fishing…" she continued to rant and huff as she started to get undressed in front of me for her bath.

I had never seen Bella this naked and I think she may have forgotten that I was in the room by this point.

But, as I have covered before, I was a clever man, and followed mom's past advice.

When a woman is arguing or ranting, the good thing for her partner to do is _stay silent_.

So I did.

I mean, it was good that, as her doting boyfriend, I let her rant her troubles away and if, by chance, she was getting naked at the same time, and who was I to butt in and distract her?

See, I was a clever man.

"Get your eyes off of my ass you perv and go and make yourself useful," she glared at me, finally remembering that I was lying on the bed.

With a hard on.

With my tail between my legs, I made my way to the kitchen to make her a nice soothing drink of hot chocolate that would be cooled down enough when she got out of the bath.

I even added marshmallows and chocolate shavings on the top to make it pretty.

"Edward!" she shrieked as I walked into the bedroom, causing me to drop the hot liquid on my foot and my heart jumped into my throat.

Trying to ignore the blistering heat traveling through my toes, I did this strange hop-skip-jump movement towards the bathroom door.

When I got there, Bella had a beaming smile on her face.

Bitch.

She scared the living hell out of me _and _made me burn my foot.

"I can feel them moving!" she said with a tearful smile and even the sight of her rosy pink nipples peeking out from the bubbles didn't distract me.

Much.

She felt our babies moving.

With the pain of my foot _almost _forgotten, I sunk to my knees as she took my hands in hers and held them to her belly.

And then it was my turn.

It wasn't a full on kick, but almost like a squirmy movement and that was it.

I cried like a stupid baby.

And I didn't care.

I had felt my babies move for the first time.


	11. Chapter 11

Why did I forget all the downsides to pregnancies?

The need to pee constantly.

Remembering to cross ones legs when one needed to cough or sneeze.

Backache.

Puffy fingers and feet, including the ankles if your body wanted to really piss you off.

Sore boobs, oh God yeah, sore boobs were the worst.

Bad skin.

I looked like a diseased Mrs. Potato-Head in maternity clothes.

Yep, I was officially dressed in a tent.

And I was only twenty weeks pregnant.

The plus side was that my hair was growing really well, but that was hardly a plus side because the bitchy know-it-all nurse at my last appointment told me that after they were born, it would all fall out again.

Why didn't I remember that bit from when I had Lizzy?

Anyway, enough of this moping shit, I needed to finish getting ready.

We were having our 3D scan of the twins today and would hopefully be sweetening up the grandparents later this evening for dinner.

Esme finally cornered Edward as he came out of the restroom at the diner where we took Lizzy one night.

I may or may not have sent her a text so she could hunt him down with a little bit of help.

In my defense, I was getting really pissed off that she or Carlisle would hound me to get to him, add to the fact that over the last couple of weeks I had been nursing a very painful case of cystitis on and off, we had got no closer to having sex.

And I was gagging for it.

Every time I could, he couldn't or if we both could, we couldn't because Lizzy needed us.

I had a serious case of blue _clit_, not blue balls.

Edward had those.

"Do you know how hard it is to not go to the toilet when told, but also to make sure I keep going because the doctor doesn't want me to get another infection?" I grumbled as I pulled myself and my belly into the passenger's seat of Edward's car and grabbed the seat belt.

"It must feel very confusing," he said in a monotone voice.

Yeah, he was still pissed off at me for ratting him out to his parents.

"Just a bit," I replied with a fake smile.

"Bella, are we finding out the sex of the babies today?" he finally opened his mouth five minutes before we got to the hospital.

The whole way here we, or I should say I, had been talking nonstop about the house he put the offer on last week. We didn't end up going for the seven bedroom house because quite frankly, the size of it would have taken me a month to clean and there was no way I was doing that as well as looking after three young children and run a book store.

We ended up falling in love with a Victorian house that was split over four levels, if you included the basement and had 6 bedrooms. It sounds large, but it was almost half the floor space of the house that Edward had originally found.

The house didn't really need doing much to it apart from the basic decorating to make it 'ours' and Lizzy had already claimed her bedroom as it has a pink en suite to it.

Shit, Edward asked me a question.

"We can do, if you want. I found out at this stage when I was carrying Lizzy. It makes things so much easier for buying stuff," I shrugged with a smile.

I was now thinking about how to decorate a nursery. Would it be pink or blue, or maybe even a warm yellow or light green?

Christ, now I sounded like Alice.

"We're here," he said and finally I saw a smile on his face.

"Do you have any preference?" I asked as I managed to haul my ass out of the car.

Damn I was getting big fast.

"I wouldn't mind a boy, you know, to offset all the girly stuff we have," he chuckled and I was bombarded with images of Edward playing ball in the yard with our son.

And welcome the floodgates.

I managed to walk over to a bench before I started to really cry.

Damn fucking hormones.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he asked, completely freaking out and rubbing my back soothingly.

"I want a boy," I whined and cried at the same time.

"Okay, so why are you crying, do you think we're having girls?" he asked softly.

Damn him and his sensitivity.

"I don't know, but I want a boy so you can play catch with him and he can have his own little mitt and a little kit to match and you can take him to ball games and, and -," I stuttered by the end.

"Bella, if we're having girls, there's always the opportunity to try again in the future, we're still both very young," he cooed as he kissed the top of my head gently.

It made me cry harder.

Half an hour later and I was finally pulled together enough to go into the scan room, bladder full and intact, and we waited for things to get started.

Edward had been a godsend at helping me clean up my snot and tears, the majority of it going on his shirt, and then he booked me in, filling in all the paperwork and even grabbing me a cup of tea.

"It'll all be okay and just think of Lizzy when she gets home from school. She's going to be so excited to be able to call the blobs girls or boys," we both laughed lightly as we thought of Lizzy.

Even though she had seen the last scan pictures, she still called them blobs.

"That sounds good," I sniffed.

"Okay Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, shall we see how things are going today?" the young girl asked as she walked in with my file.

She was really young.

Was she even qualified?

I didn't stop long enough to think because I was still turning over in my head the words 'Mrs. Cullen'. It had a nice ring to it.

"Sure, we're ready," I said happily as I wiggled my ass on the harsh tissue paper I was currently laying on.

"More than ready," Edward said with same enthusiasm, but minus the ass wiggling.

Unfortunately.

"Okay, well I will start off with all the standard stuff, like measurements and the like, then I'll switch over to 3D and start up the DVD so you'll have something to take home with you, as well as the normal pictures," Claire, the lady, said sweetly.

She started quickly, covering my skin, in warm gel this time, and made a move to record all of the measurements. She confirmed that they were non-identical and apparently that was a good thing because it cut down quite a few risks.

When that was done, she flipped a few buttons on her pad and moved the screen around so we could see.

"And there are your babies," she said happily as I took in our babies.

I gripped Edwards hand tightly as we saw twin A sucking his or her thumb.

"Your baby is looking beautiful all curled up in your belly," Claire said softly as I started to tear up quite a lot, "And twin B looks just as content," she mused as she moved the wand thingy over a touch.

The babies were laying down horizontally in my stomach and were head to head.

I was amazed.

"Okay, so do you want to know what you're having?" Claire asked with excitement and both Edward and I started nodding our heads like those stupid toys you have in the car.

"Well, mommy and daddy, you are having a-,"

"Well hello there ladies and gents!" came the booming voice as the door flew open.

"EMMETT!"


	12. Chapter 12

**BPOV**

"Sorry, I'll just be over here," he said sheepishly as he sat down at the end of the bed.

"As I was saying, you're having a girl… and a boy!" Claire said happily as she looked at us.

And I was crying again.

Hard.

But in my defense, so was Edward.

"Aw man, you're having a boy!" Emmett cut in and I giggled.

He was like a boy in himself and just like any other four year old, he looked so sweet when happy.

"I am. I'm being blessed with not just another beautiful daughter, but a son too," Edward cried.

Somewhere in our haze of tears and soft words, Claire and Emmett had left the room.

When we had finally pulled ourselves together, Claire came back into the room to sort out the DVD and the pictures.

"Dr. Cullen will see you in his office to go over a few things, but everything looks great," she said as she handed us what she had got ready and we left the room.

I was in seventh heaven.

.

**EPOV**

I was going to kill my brother.

Not only had he blabbed to my parents about Bella and I, but he busted into the room just as we were about to find out what we were having.

I hated him.

Okay, so I didn't _hate_ him, but pretty damn close to it.

We walked slowly to his office as we looked at the pictures of our son and daughter.

I was totally amazed at how those two little beings had completely taken over me.

"Edward, you're having a son," Bella said tearfully again as we got to the office door.

"And another perfect daughter," I beamed.

I couldn't help it.

I leant down and captured her lips with mine.

They were so soft against mine.

I relished them.

"Okay love birds, that's how babies get made," Emmett chuckled as he opened his door and caught us.

"No, Emmett, not in our case, so how about you shut up, let us go over everything and then I take your brother home with me and have my wicked way with him," Bella glared at him and he had the sense to shrink back a touch.

An hour later, after several debates, we were leaving the hospital with beaming smiles.

Emmett had the biggest sulk going on because Bella wanted to change doctors, owing to the fact that there would be a conflict of interest with him being my brother, but Emmett didn't agree. He said that because Bella wasn't legally my wife, he didn't technically have any conflict, so he put his foot down and refused to let her sack him.

Rule one.

If you ever want anything, guilt Bella into it.

"Are we going to have to have two nurseries for them, Edward? I'm really not happy about separating them," she mused as we started the drive home.

"Well, we could expand on the large walk in closet and take down the wall into the next room and they can have a nursery together and then when they're older, they can have a room of their own," I replied as I thought about all the hard work it would take to knock down that wall.

"We don't have to. We could just put in a doorway and they can have the whole room," she replied with a smile.

Well that would take less work, which means we could move in sooner.

I was hoping that we could move in within the next couple of weeks if the paperwork went through tomorrow like planned.

I hadn't told Bella that the offer had been accepted yet as I wanted to surprise her and this would be the perfect thing.

I made a mental note to get some quotes on the building work.

.

We had moved a step forward with Lizzy.

The babies were now blob girl and blob boy.

As we tucked her into bed, she pleaded to know what we were having and Bella caved.

"If I have to have a brother, can I pleeeeeease have puppy?" she pouted sweetly and I was within an inch of giving in.

"She can have a puppy if you want to take the time off of work to house train it, because there is no way in hell that I'm going to," Bella hissed as we walked out of Lizzy's room.

"I was meaning to talk to you about that," I muttered as I made a start on our nightly hot chocolate.

We had started to do this recently and we would take our mugs with us and sit out the back on the lawn chairs and just talk about anything and everything.

Christ, looking at it, we looked like an old married couple.

"What did you want to talk about?" Bella said carefully as I finished up with the milk in the pan.

"Well, dad has asked me to join his practice in town. He understands the stresses that being a doctor can put you under in the family and he wanted to do his bit. He has enough patients now the tribe in La Push finally trusts him. I don't need any money to buy in, which would free up one hell of a lot of savings that I have. It also means that I can be home for breakfast each morning and dinner each night, what do you think?" I hedged carefully.

Dad had made me the offer after our heated debate about the sperm bank.

It had taken hours to get my point across that Emmett was the favorite child and that I was always the good one that had never put a foot out of place and they finally saw sense. Mom was beside herself thinking that she had failed me as a mother and it took longer to calm her down than what the initial conversation.

"I think it's a great idea," Bella replied.

She went up on tip toes to kiss me and I think it was my turn to swoon.

When we made it outside, we started to talk about baby names and by the time our drinks were finished, we had chosen them.

It was a quick discussion, but we were on the same page when it came to the babies.

Everything else went tits up, as Emmett liked to say.


	13. Chapter 13

Today was a sad day.

I was packing up my house and we were moving into the new one.

Edward had got a contractor in to jiggle about a few things and everything was set.

I know I should have been happier about moving, but this was a huge chunk of my life that was now over.

I was no longer single.

No longer a single _parent_.

No longer having Alice and Jasper stopping by every few moments.

Okay, so that last bit was a good thing, but everything else was a bit iffy.

I know that for the last several weeks I'd had Edward by my side, but it was also still so new.

I now had to do things with someone else.

I didn't have to do everything myself and that was going to be a huge thing to get used to.

Just like my expanding belly.

I was now twenty four weeks pregnant and I was both loving and hating it.

My skin was glowing now, my moods were somewhat level and I had a lot more energy than what I did have a few weeks ago, but everything else was again, iffy.

I was still gagging for it and Edward had hardly been around recently to try and even get some, if you know what I mean.

He had worked out his notice at the hospital and even though it would normally be a month, he had a lot of holiday time still owing, so they let him go after two weeks.

So we spent the rest of his time off packing up the house and getting it ready for the new tenants.

They were a young family and were eager to rent rather than buy because of the finances. It was also a bonus that the mom, Melissa, was looking for a job, so she now helped run the shop for me. Their young family was adorable and I couldn't have wished for a better family to move into my first home. Their two young twin girls were also in the same class as Lizzy at school, so that was another bonus.

"Bella, that's the last of it," Edward said quietly as I saw that the last of the kitchen stuff had been taken out.

"Is it wrong of me to say that I don't want to go?" I said tearfully as I looked around the room that had so many memories for me.

This was my first home. Dad had put the down payment on it for me. I found out I was pregnant with Lizzy as I sat at the table. My first contractions hit when I was in the shower that was too small for my bump.

_Everything_ happened in this house.

"No, not wrong at all. But think of the positives. All those things you experienced here will come with you, in your heart and we can make new memories in our new home," he said softly as he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around the top of my bump.

"You're right," I said after a short while.

"Come on, let's go and make new memories while the family helps out with the moving," he kissed my neck and of course, my mind went to where we sneak off to.

The memories I wanted to make didn't match up to his ones.

Just yet.

"God, what did you do, make sure you christened every room before you left?" Emmett asked as we finally pulled up to the new house.

Everyone else was unloading stuff from the van.

"Hardy ha-ha, Em, and you don't christen every room when you leave, you do it for something _new_," Edward glared at his brother.

Christen every room?

Now _that_ would have potential.

"Momma, can I tell them now?" Lizzy asked with excitement and I shook my head.

She was desperate to tell everyone what we were having, but I was following my mother's advice for once.

If bribery and corruption works, _use it._

So we were bribing Lizzy.

If she kept the news to herself, we would get her a puppy.

I know, I know, I sounded cruel, but we didn't want everyone to know yet and we even had to bribe Emmett.

He had a pair of good tickets for the next game if he kept his damn mouth shut.

"No, Lizzy, not yet," Edward replied to her question as he helped me up the garden path.

"But I wanna," she whined.

"No," I stated firmly as Edward opened the door.

"Don't you even think about it, Mister. No carrying the whale over the threshold," I stressed firmly.

He pouted.

Poor little thing.

"You spoil all my fun," he huffed playfully as pushed the door open and let me walk in first.

.

"All done," Alice huffed as she collapsed onto the couch next to me.

"Thanks so much for helping today, Ali," I said sweetly as I watched the babies kick the empty glass on my belly.

"No probs, we just have to wait for everyone else to finish now," she grinned and I was confused.

"I thought that's what you meant when you said you were done?" I asked.

"Hell no, I meant I was done with your closets," she giggled as I rolled my eyes.

I should have known.

"Thanks for that then," I laughed as one of the babies kicked the glass clean off my stomach.

"I want one now… I wonder if Jasper would be obliging," she laughed as she put her small hand on my bump.

"You have to get married first, then get the house and then it's time to have the babies," I giggled.

"Oh yeah, I'm really going to follow your advice, Miss. 'I'm-going-to-do-everything-backwards'," she laughed loudly, scaring the babies.

"Damn it, I thought they were going to come out of my throat," I gasped in shock.

"Bella! What's wrong, are you having contraction? Are they painful? Has your water broken?" Edward came skidding to a stop at my feet and tried to lift up my summer dress over my head to look.

"Edward! Christ sake, calm down. Alice scared the babies and they jumped, chill out!" I gasped in shock again as I tried to smooth down my dress.

"Sorry," he said with a blush as everyone hovered around me.

He was sometimes too adorable for words, but Christ, the man needed to chill out!


	14. Chapter 14

**EPOV**

I was like a dog with two pricks.

One day, we had been in this house just one day, and I was on the verge of losing my man card.

Seriously, I was one step away from coming in my pants like a fourteen year old.

Bella had taken it upon herself to wear a shirt of mine and a pair of my boxer shorts while she was sorting everything out.

I could understand her point.

She was getting bigger, fast, and she liked wearing bigger clothes, but Christ, that woman just had to do it in front of me.

Wiggling her ass around to her MP3 player.

Her boobs were just pure perfection and although she was wearing a top, I could still vision what they looked like under it.

And her legs.

I had no words to describe how they looked. Okay, so they would look better wrapped around me, but I would take anything right about now.

This was the best free porn this side of puberty.

"Edward, are you palming your cock?" Bella gasped at me from the other side of our bedroom and I quickly dropped my hand and skulked out of the room.

That was another thing I had yet to get used to.

We were sharing a bedroom.

Yet we had never had sex.

I had the worst case of blue balls this side of the North Pole.

We both wanted it, God, we were both dying for it, but we just never had the time. If it wasn't Lizzy needing us, Bella had a urinary tract infection, the hospital needed my time, the family wanted something, Bella's book store needed a stock check… the list was endless and I was desperate.

I had half a mind to pay mom to have Lizzy for the night and lock Bella up in the bedroom, but I knew I couldn't. Mom and dad were having dinner at the Swan's house tonight and I knew for a fact that they were going to get high and start having an orgy on the couch.

Okay, so I didn't know that for sure, but after my parents last encounter with the Swans, anything was possible.

"Edward, what is up with you today?" Bella asked as she came into the bathroom behind me.

I shrugged.

How the hell could I talk to her about this when she was going through it as well?

I should fucking know, even in her sleep, her mouth went a mile a minute and her body liked to rub up against me.

'Why didn't I try something then?' I hear you ask.

Well, I would like my balls to stay attached to my body, I have grown fond of them, and if I attempt to wake her up, she'll rip them off.

Trust me.

Bella was _not_ a morning person.

In fact, I could go as far as to say that she was not a morning person right up until lunch, or, depending on the day she's had, dinner.

"Edward, talk to me," she cooed gently as she walked up to me, turned her large bump to the side, and then started to run her fingers through my hair.

I wanted to purr like a damn cat.

"Bella, please," I whimpered as she tiptoed to kiss me gently.

"What?" she asked innocently as she grabbed my hand and dragged me through to our new room. I kicked a box that was in my way and the corner of a wooden box hit my shins, but I didn't care.

Was _this_ it?

What we had been gagging for over the last several weeks?

I knew that Lizzy was out cold, so this could be really it!

"Edward, don't over think this," she giggled as she led us to the side of the bed and started to undress me.

Damn, she was so sexy, like really sexy.

"So beautiful, do you know that," I whispered reverently against her lips.

I needed her to know that. She was beautiful in every way.

"Edward, we have time later for sweet talking, you haven't exactly got in my panties, but the thought was there, so less talking and more fucking," she growled out as she turned our bodies and pushed me backwards onto the bed.

W.O.W

"How?" I asked her gently as she threw off the last of her clothes and settled on the bed next to me.

Now I was a man, and we had needs, but a woman had greater needs and one of them was being treated like she was a princess.

If I had, for one second, hinted that I didn't have a clue how to go forward with this without me turning into a seesaw and rocking on top of her, I would be forever sleeping on the couch.

"If you so much as hint that I'm fat, I'll cut your balls off and wear them as a necklace," she growled out against my lips as her hand started to draw a path towards my cock.

"Never," I chuckled nervously.

"We need music, I don't want Lizzy to hear us," she moaned lightly as my fingers danced across the skin of her thigh.

I internally sighed as I pulled away from her, rolled over and hit the play button on her iPod player doc thingy.

_Yo, all I wanna do is like swing with you,_

_is like swing with you, just swing with you, yo baby,_

_all I wanna do is like swing with you, so come on girl and swing,_

_so we can do our thing!_

_All I wanna do is like swing with you,_

_is like swing with you, just swing with you, yo baby,_

_all I wanna do is like swing with you, is like swing with you, just swing!_

"New Kids on the Block, Bella?" I looked at her with a puzzled expression.

"Joey was cute and Donnie was fucking hot in his bad boy way, and to be honest, I'm more concerned that you know who they are!" She grinned slyly with an added giggle.

_Ooh, ooh, baby_

_Come on, sugar_

_Baby, baby, come on_

"Point taken," I groaned as she palmed my cock through my boxers.

Why were they still on?

_May be a fool to let my heart control me_

_And my mind is telling me I'm crazy_

_Is she the one although she hardly knows me_

_Should I cut her off, for my own safety_

_Will it last forever?_

_I don't think so_

_Will we stay together?_

_I don't know_

_My friends say never_

_Let your heart control you_

_Is it for the better?_

_Tell me so_

I quickly pulled away and shimmied out of them and threw them across the room. I would find them later and Bella was more important than standing up and folding them neatly.

"I want to be on top. I want to feel your cock deep inside me," she panted as I started to kiss all over her chest. I made sure to stay away from her nipples because she had complained about them starting to leak and although I was a doctor, I did not want a mouthful of breast milk.

_Are you really Mrs. Right_

_'Cause I can't make up my mind_

_Girl you are so fine, so fine_

_Baby let me know the deal,_

_'Cause I gotta know if it's for real_

_Say you will be mine, all mine_

_Are you really?_

"Come over here, Bella," I ground out as her fingers laced around my cock. If she carried on doing that, I'd come before I got anywhere near her.

She scooted as close as possible to me and I quickly wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her on top of me.

"They're asleep, right?" I questioned as I looked down to our babies.

"Yes, now fuck me," she growled as she angled her hips and excruciatingly slowly sank onto my cock, making my legs shake and quiver slightly.

_Where do I turn, I don't know which way_

_Will I ever learn from my own mistakes_

_If I play it smooth will Mrs. Right swing this way_

_Or will it lead to another heartache, baby_

_Will it last forever?_

_I don't think so_

_Will we stay together?_

_I don't know_

_My friends say never_

_Let your heart control you_

_Is it for the better?_

_Tell me so_

Another song started, but I didn't give a hit.

I was inside Bella.

For weeks upon weeks I had been dreaming of this moment. Feeling how hot and wet she was nearly sent me over the edge, but I gritted my teeth and thought as little as possible about how she felt.

It wouldn't do us any good if I came within thirty seconds of me getting inside her.

"Damn Edward, that feels so good," she purred as she started to rock on me and I wanted to scream at her to shut up.

I knew how it felt, I didn't need to be told and come like a thirteen year old boy.

"Edward, talk to me… make me come, please!" she cried out lightly as she leant back and rested her hands on the tops of my thighs.

Dear Lord, woman!

"So deep," I gritted out as I grabbed hold of her hips and helped her move.

"Talk," she all but demanded and I gave up, if I came, I came.

"It's good, Bella… feeling you… like this…" my voice squeaked a little as I opened my eyes to see that she had let go of one of my thighs and had started playing with her clit.

"Christ, Bella… so hot!" I cried out as I heard her getting wetter.

"Help me," she whimpered as she left her clit alone and supported herself with both hands again.

I was all too happy to help out as I moved my hand to where hers had left.

"So good, Edward, oh God, so good." Her hips were rotating, grinding against me.

Shit, I was coming!

"Come on, Bella," I goaded as I started to pump my hips upwards.

And she came, loudly and erratically just before I did.

It was amazing.

The connection, the sensations.

"Mmm, seven minutes," she whispered gently as she collapsed on the bed to the side of me.

"Seven minutes?" I asked, completely puzzled.

"We lasted seven minutes, but we can work up from that," she giggled as I rolled my eyes.

"Seven minutes in heaven," I whispered as I kissed the top of her head.

"Mmm," she hummed as we both drifted off to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**BPOV**

By the time I got to twenty-nine weeks, we had gone from seven minutes to over half an hour, if we paced ourselves.

Okay, so we didn't pace ourselves, but we had to keep stopping and starting to get more comfortable, to let the cramp in my legs go and to get Lizzy drinks and snacks, but hey, we were at least getting adventurous.

Being forced to think on the fly and take advantage of an unexpected free moment tended to do that.

The kitchen was a good place, over the counters and table. The closet was good for the 'spur of the moment' place. The bathroom was a no-go area though. I couldn't do it in the bath and I kept slipping on the shower tray base.

Oh! The garden shed was another good place, after I got rid of all the spiders.

Sex… I loved it!

~(*)~

Thanksgiving was just around the corner and I was busy as hell with work, but we still found time to 'get our freak on' as Emmett called it.

It wasn't my fault he walked in unannounced one Saturday morning. Lizzy was at Esme's and we found time to give the back of the couch a thorough inspection.

I think Emmett might have been blinded for life.

It's not every day you see your brother dressed up as Dracula and a beached whale going at it.

In our defense, it was Halloween and as Emmett had told me that I needed to relax, Edward was taking Lizzy Trick or Treating.

Anyway, he knocked whenever he came round now.

"Bella, _Poufy_ wants to go for a walk, have you seen his lead?" Edward asked as I came out of the pantry.

I was making some pies and stuff for Thanksgiving in a couple of days and I was busy as hell.

Oh, Poufy was Lizzy's white Pomeranian puppy that Alice made me get her.

Personally, I thought that he looked as though he had been put in a dryer on full heat, but I suppose he was cute in his gay little way.

Yeah, Poufy liked to hump male dogs, not girl ones.

Lizzy called him puffy because of his fur, but it soon got changed to Poofy, or Poufy, on the vet's books.

"It was hanging up in the cupboard under the stairs the last time I looked," I smiled in return as I answered him.

It was so nice to have Edward around more, now that he worked for Carlisle.

"Fancy giving me a hand to look for it?" he wiggled his eyebrows at me which made me laugh.

"No, not when you look like you're copying a look from your brother," I laughed as he pouted.

"Aw, baby, you're still sweet, just not when you look like him," I smiled as I put down my candied peel and went to help him look for the lead.

Half an hour later and a quick brush of my hair, we emerged from the small cupboard with smiles on our faces and the lead in hand.

"We're not going to be able to do that for much longer," I mused as I ran my hand over my bump.

I was freakin' huge!

Emmett had even made me have another scan to see if everything was okay because I was so big for dates, but apart from a little more fluid in there, I was fine. Now I was waiting to hear back from him about a test for gestational diabetes.

Oh joys.

~(*)~

"The test came back negative, Emmett, so shut up," I said sweetly as I piled more turkey on my plate.

"Everything in moderation, Bella," Emmett growled over the table and I expertly flipped him off without anyone seeing me.

We had a full table today. Esme and Carlisle were kind enough to have my family around for Thanksgiving as well as Alice and Jasper, so it was every man for him or herself when it came to food, even though there was plenty.

"I'm eating for three, Emmett, so I can eat what the hell I like," I stated as I growled and Edward put a not so calming hand on my leg.

_Just a little higher, dear. _I thought.

That damn man was like the opposite of kryptonite, he really was. Just a look or a touch and I wanted him there and then!

"Two, Bella, you're eating for two," Emmett said smugly.

I did the math and it didn't add up.

"And what am I, chopped liver? Me, plus two babies equals three, Emmett. Christ, not only did you actually go through medical school, but I chose you as my doctor. Wonders will never cease," I giggled as he looked totally gutted.

Dinner was over and done with quickly and I felt stuffed. I was currently sitting on the couch listening to everyone talk around me as Edward rubbed my swollen feet.

Another thing Emmett was keeping an eye on.

I swear, hands down, that I loved him like a brother and he was a perfect doctor for me. I just liked to give him grief because it was fun.

"So, are we still decorating the nursery next week?" Esme asked as I started to drift off to sleep.

"Yeah," I moaned gently as Edward ran his thumb hard along the ball of my left foot.

It felt so damn good…

Edward was brave enough to wake me up and take me home.

Lizzy was spending the night at the Cullen's because Alice, Esme and mom were going to introduce her to the finer life and take her shopping in the morning.

Good luck to them, because I knew what she was like to wake up in the mornings.

I kept my mouth shut, kissed her goodnight and fell asleep in the car again.

When Edward pulled up at home, I stumbled out of the car and went on autopilot to bed.

~(*)~

I was sulking.

I was now thirty-two weeks pregnant and I couldn't get up from the couch.

I had only sat down for _two_ minutes and I ended up having to text Edward to help me.

He was currently up in the nursery, putting the final touches to the crib that we bought.

Okay, not final touches.

He was still putting it together.

Although it was an _American_ made crib, no fucker thought it would be good to have the instructions in English. Oh no, that would have been easy. There was everything _but_ English written on the small piece of paper.

"Stuck again?" he chuckled as he walked in the room, covered in sweat and looking like a fucking God.

I hated him.

"Shut up," I groaned as I held out my hands for him to help me.

"How about we go and lie down for a little while and I rub your back?" He smiled sweetly at me as he pulled me up from the couch, fighting hard to hide his groan.

"Sure," I replied as I came face to face with him.

Damn, I loved him.

I just hadn't told him yet.

In my defense, he hadn't told me either.

I waddled up the stairs to our bedroom, stripping off my clothes as I went.

I finally crawled into bed, naked, and stayed on my hands and knees as I waited for Edward to join me.

"I want it," I pouted into the covers of the bed when I felt the mattress dip.

"Like this?" he asked huskily from behind me.

All I could do was nod my head as I felt his fingers flutter up my thighs and then across my clit.

So damn talented and he didn't even know it.

"I love seeing you like this," he said quietly as he kissed my ass while he inserted a finger, "Always so wet and ready," he chuckled as I pushed against him, making it go deeper.

"Edward, please, don't tease me," I groaned as he added a second.

"I like teasing you." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Oh, I know," I smiled.

"Are you ready, baby? I don't think I can wait any longer," he asked as he pulled out his fingers and I felt him kneel up and rub his cock against me.

"Yes!" I cried out.

Just as he put the tip in, I felt so full, so wet! I literally felt it trickle down my thighs.

"Bella?" he asked quietly and I wanted to growl at him.

"No talking, please," I whimpered as I tried to push myself further against him.

"Bella, stop!" he said gently as he stopped me moving.

"What, Edward?" I growled this time.

Why the fuck was he stopping?

"I don't want you to hit me, but I have to ask, have you just peed yourself?" he whispered.

I felt horrified!

"No, I fucking haven't!" I shouted as a pain hit me.

"Then I think your water just broke."


	16. Chapter 16

**EPOV**

I was in panic mode.

She was only thirty-two weeks pregnant!

I was running around like a headless chicken in a flight of panic as she got on the phone to my brother.

I had made sure I had her bags by the front door, the car was ready and all I was waiting on was her.

"Emmett said to come straight in," she said quietly through gritted teeth as she held onto her stomach.

"Is it that bad, already?" I asked, trying so fucking hard to control my panic.

"No, just _really_ uncomfortable."

Lizzy was with Alice today on a girly day out, so I sent her a quick text and then flailed around until I found my other shoe under the bed.

It was too early, wasn't it?

I tried to remember my rotation on the OB-GYN floor.

She was carrying twins, so she would be early, so it should be okay, shouldn't it?

"Edward Anthony Cullen, get a move on," she called out as I saw her get into the car and I was still standing in the doorway of the house.

I shook my head to clear it as I carried her bags to the car and got in.

"I've done this before, remember?" she said gently before taking my hand.

"You have, but _I_ haven't," I mumbled as I took my hand back and started up the car.

I made sure to keep to the speed limit all the way to the hospital, apart from when she winced and then my foot pushed a little harder on the pedal.

When we got there, Emmett was already outside with a wheelchair and there was a not a humorous look anywhere on his face.

I was grateful.

I needed him to be a doctor today, not a joker.

"Well hello there, Bella, Edward," he said kindly as I jumped out of the car and made my way round to her side of the car.

We both helped her out and got her in the chair before she replied.

"This hurts, Emmett, so give me the drugs and whatever you do, keep that fucking nurse away from me," she growled as he nodded and turned the chair towards the doors.

"What nurse is that?" I asked him quietly as the doors opened and we walked through.

"I had a student nurse with me the last time Bella was here and we were lucky that Bella didn't get arrested for assault halfway through her labor," he chuckled slightly and I made a mental note to ask Bella about it later.

~(*)~

We were soon shown to a room and Emmett made sure Bella was comfortable before starting on a round of questions and tests.

"Bella, your blood pressure is a little too high, so we need to get things moving," Emmett said firmly as he pulled off the cuff and set it down on the side.

"Okay, Emmett," she tried hard to keep the worry from her voice, but I heard it.

"Right, Bells, you know the drill," Emmett said with a small smile as he pulled on a pair of gloves.

Shit, was he going to do that while I was in the room?

_Grow a pair man, Bella needs you._ My head screamed at me as I stood by Bella's side.

"I'm fine, do what you have to do," she replied quietly.

"It'll be okay, baby, I'll make sure of it," I whispered to her, hoping to calm her fears.

"You're at six, Bella, not bad going. I just want to check how the babies are doing with a scan, just to make sure they're in the right position," Emmett said, seeming a little happier that she was so far along.

Ten minutes later and that smile disappeared when he scanned her.

"Bella, it's not good, both are laying transverse, you'll need a C-section," he said with a sigh as a nurse walked in the room with some forms for him to fill in.

"I beg your pardon?" she asked as she tried to sit up a little straighter in the bed.

"Breech, Bella, breech. You'll have to have a C-section," Emmett said as he carried on reading the printout of the babies' heartbeats.

"Who's gonna do it?" she asked as I took her hand again when a contraction hit.

"Me of course," he replied with a sly smile and she gripped my hand as tightly as she could.

"Oh… hell… no… No way, Emmett. I saw what you did to the turkey at Thanksgiving." She growled.

"Bella, you don't have any choice, I can't turn the babies, because there isn't enough space and you can't push them out sideways," he said in a serious tone and I knew this wasn't something to joke about. He was in full on doctor mode right now.

"Bella, just do what he says, okay, I don't want to risk you or the babies," I urged her as I kissed the back of her hand.

"Fine," she huffed and Emmett got underway with booking the OR.

After Emmett had Bella sign some paperwork, it was all systems go and we were whisked off to have our babies.

Holy fucking shit on a stick!

I was going to be a dad... again!

~(*)~

"Here we go, Bella, this is when it feels like I'm rummaging around you," Emmett chuckled over the sheet that was put up.

"I feel sick," she murmured.

"That's normal, baby, it's the medications." I watched helplessly as she started to shake a little bit. That was also normal, so I didn't focus on it much.

"And here we have baby twin A," Emmett said proudly as I stood up a little and watched while he handed my baby to a nurse who was on standby.

My baby!

"Go see," Bella urged me, but I shook my head.

"Not yet, baby, you need me," I smiled as I kissed the top of her head.

"A very healthy four pound, two ounce little girl," I heard a nurse say before the loudest screech known to man erupted throughout the room.

I couldn't stop the tears falling as I looked at Bella with so much pride and love.

"And here's baby twin B," I heard Emmett's voice, but not clearly, I was too busy staring at the beautiful woman lying in front of me.

"And a four pound, seven ounce little boy," the nurse called out over the new wail in the room.

"They're loud," Bella giggled through her own tears and I nodded.

"They take after their amazing uncle Emmett," I whispered hoarsely.

"Erm, guys, we have a little issue here," Emmett stuttered and the alarm bells started to ring.

Panic started to set in as I looked at Bella and then Emmett.

"What? Emmett, what's wrong?" I said loudly as he smiled.

"Welcome to baby C?" he said with a shrug as he held up a tiny squirming pink baby in his huge hands.

_Triplets._


	17. Chapter 17

**BPOV**

Triplets.

Well how the fuck did that happen?

Hey, I was a mother, I _knew _how that happened, but three?

This was a joke.

It had to be.

I couldn't be a mother of four kids yet!

"Bella, you with me?" I faintly heard Edward talking, but taking in the fact that I had triplets had kinda taken over.

"Hell no, my mind is still on three babies," I muttered as I waited for my third baby to cry.

Silence.

"Emmett, is it okay?" I asked tearfully.

"She's doing beautifully, Bella, they just need to help her out with a little oxygen," he smiled warmly and I should have relaxed, but I couldn't.

_She._

_I had another girl!_

"Can... can she not breathe on her own?" I asked, ready for the full onset of tears.

"She can, baby, she just needs a little help, right Emmett?" Edward cut in as he stroked my hairline.

What seemed like hours later, I saw three nurses holding a bundle each, two pink and one blue.

And that's when the tears started and wouldn't stop.

"Baby C weighs a good three pounds, three ounces and she's doing fine," the nurse with the smallest bundle said gently as she angled my baby down so I could see her tiny scrunched up face.

"So small," I whispered.

"She is," Edward chuckled next to me as a nurse handed him our other daughter.

"Would you like the other two?" one other nurse asked, but I shook my head.

"I feel too sick," And I did. I didn't know how I had managed to stave it off.

"That's just the meds, they'll be out of your system soon enough," she replied.

"Hey, Edward?" I asked with a smirk.

"Yeah, baby?"

"I'm glad you didn't faint," I giggled.

~(*)~

"So let me get this straight, Baby C was up under my rib cage?" I asked Emmett who was sat at the end of the bed.

Our babies were now just over six hours old and I was finally sitting up in bed trying to breastfeed two at a time.

It was interesting to say the least.

"Yep, from your records, they put in three embryos, and all three took, we just didn't spot this little one on the scans and that's why you were so big, because in theory, you were carrying a thirteen pound baby with the placentas and that's rare at thirty two weeks. But saying that, it's genetics, so can't be that rare when you look at the size of me," he chuckled as he pointed to my little heart breaker that Edward was holding.

"Amazing," Edward mused as he stroked the face of our little girl, "Not that they take after you, but how this little one hid all that time," he smiled.

"So anyway, I have left more messages with the family, but they're all out shopping. They're gonna kick themselves when they get here," Emmett laughed.

We hadn't told them on any of the messages that we had a little hider of a baby.

It would be interesting to see what they said.

"Thanks Emmett," I smiled widely, trying to hide the pain of my stomach.

"Time for meds I think," Edward cut in, giving me a stern look.

I could never hide anything from him.

"It's safe for them, right?" I asked as Emmett went in search of drugs.

"Sure," Edward said as he stood up and reverently put our little one in the plastic fish bowl of a crib.

~(*)~

"I shit you not," I laughed as Alice's eyes went wider than ever.

Everyone was staring at me and Edward as I held our two girls and Edward had our boy.

They were dumbstruck.

This was saying something because Alice talked at a mile a minute.

"Hang on, you got one free?" Jasper asked completely puzzled.

"It doesn't exactly work like that, Jasper." I laughed hard until my stomach started to hurt again.

"Relax, baby," Edward cooed into my ear as I leant over to kiss him.

"So come on, introduce us," Esme smiled widely as she stepped a little further forward.

"Momma, three babies?" Lizzy finally spoke up and I could see the confusion in her eyes, but that wasn't why my eyes widened.

It looked as though she'd grown so much in the space of a few hours. She looked huge compared to our new babies and it hit home how much she had actually grown up.

"Yes, baby, three blobs," I sniffed.

"Huh," she muttered before getting Carlisle to pick her up.

Dad was standing in the corner, quietly watching me with a smile on his face and mom had latched on to Esme like a walking stick.

"Well, this is Charlotte Esme Cullen," I said proudly as I nodded my head to the biggest of our girls.

"And this is Nathaniel Anthony Cullen," Edward cut in, holding his son so proudly.

"And last but not least, this is Natahlia Renee Cullen," I said tearfully as I watched my tiny girl sleeping.

They all had blue eyes at the moment, from what we saw, but other than that, they looked completely different.

Charlotte had Edward's hair color and Nathaniel had mine, but Natahlia was a perfect mix of the two of us.

"Well, I suppose we'll have to do a lot more shopping now," mom giggled as everyone took a step closer to look at our beautiful children.

"Just don't go mad," Edward said before I had a chance to.

"Yeah, we don't need much more," I said as I stared into Edward's eyes.

_Six damn weeks._

"Okay, well we should leave you guys to it. We'll pop back later," Carlisle said and the others agreed.

"Sure," I said with a smile as he brought Lizzy over to us.

I gave her a kiss and a quick hug, around the babies, and told her to be good.

"So momma, as I got extra sister, can I have a kitten?"


	18. Chapter 18

**EPOV**

"Ow, ow, ow," Bella's muttering woke me up from a painful half sleep in the chair.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I moved to stand by her side.

She had given birth less than twelve hours ago and she still looked beautiful, radiant even.

"Please go and tell a nurse that I want this catheter out of me or I'm ripping it out myself," she grumbled as she rolled over painfully to face me.

"Bella, they'll leave it in as long as they have to, I can't just demand that they take it out," I tried to use a soothing voice, but I could have dropped dead with the daggers her eyes were giving me.

"Have you ever had a tube up your dick, Edward? Do you want to know how painful it is, because I could show you!" she snapped as she tried to sit up.

"I'll go and see if there's a nurse about," I mumbled in reply.

When I got back, with the nurse hot on my heels, I found Bella curled up in a ball and crying.

"Bella, what's wrong, baby?" I asked, worried that she was in pain.

Fuck, I'd only been out of the room for five minutes.

"I snapped at you… you hate me," she cried harder into the pillow.

"Oh honey, I don't hate you, I could never hate you, I love you." _There, I'd said it._

I had been dying to say it for weeks and weeks, but there had never been a perfect moment as crazy as life had been with the house and the pregnancy and just all around adjusting.

But saying that, when was there _ever_ a perfect moment for us?

"You love me?" she sniffed as I cradled her gently in my arms.

"Of course I do, Bella, what's not to love?" I asked, jokingly as the nurse got some stuff ready.

"I love you, too," she cried gently and I felt like my whole world had lit up.

She loved me too!

"Okay, Bella, can you lay on your back for me?" the nurse asked kindly as I let go of Bella.

"You're not going to watch, are you?" Bella asked with wide eyes.

"I'll just be outside," I kissed the top of her head and she gripped my hand.

"Don't leave me, just… just turn around and don't look," she mumbled.

"Sure," I said with a smile as I turned around, still keeping a hold of her hand.

"Ow, you mother's _junt_," Bella hissed.

"Nice choice of words, baby," I chuckled as her fingers dug into the back of my hand.

"Just be grateful that was all I said."

~(*)~

"Will you slow down," I whispered to Natahlia.

She may have been small, but she sounded like a sludge pump working on overtime at Bella's breast.

Bella just let out a tired giggle.

"Bella, if it's too much, we can always bottle feed, or at least pump," I said seriously as I moved my eyes from our daughter to Bella.

"I know, but I like feeding them," she replied as she gave me a sweet smile.

She may have balls of steel, but not when it came to the kids.

She was like putty in their little fingers.

And talking of little fingers, Lizzy was ignoring us.

We had said no to the kitten.

She didn't believe us when we said that we didn't know about Natahlia.

Well, this daddy was growing a backbone and saying no to her.

She hated me and I hated that she hated me.

Bella was due to go home later this afternoon, once Emmett came back from his extended lunch date, and Bella was more than ready to go home.

The babies were just four days old, but changing so quickly already.

Charlotte was the loudest, crying at any given moment while Nathaniel was the laid back one, nothing like me or Emmett. Natahlia was the little squeaker. She never actually cried, just whimpered when she was hungry and that was it.

No doubt it would change and change soon, so I was just going to enjoy everything as it happened.

"Mom said that she and Esme had another crib delivered yesterday and it only took them an hour to put it together. They didn't even read the instructions." Bella grinned at me as I paled.

"It's not my fault every item in that box was labeled 'item B', it was the factory's fault, not _mine_," I huffed, but couldn't keep the grin off of my face.

"Yes dear," Bella giggled again as she got up from the bed and walked into the bathroom.

When she got back out, she was dressed in a pair of maternity jeans that hugged her ass and a breastfeeding top.

She looked sinful, despite the fact that she now hated her body.

"You still look beautiful," I said as I laid Charlotte in her fish bowl of a crib and walked over to Bella.

"I look like a deflated balloon," she pouted, which made me laugh.

"Baby, you've just given birth to three wonderful and beautiful babies, you're allowed to feel like crap for a few days, but after that, that's it. No more making yourself miserable. It takes a lot out of you when you have just one baby, let alone three, so enough, okay?" I said firmly as I leant forward to kiss her sweet lips.

"When did you get to be all-knowing?" she smiled sweetly as I pulled away.

"Someone in the family had to be smart," I joked with a shrug.

"Rein your head in a little, Cullen, we want you to be able to walk through the door when you leave," she smirked at me before going to over to Nathaniel who had started to wake.

~(*)~

Bella didn't want any fanfare when we got back from the hospital, but no one listened to her.

As we pulled up to the front of the house, all you could see were pink and blue banners, bunting and balloons.

"It looks like a candy shop," Bella grumbled as I undid her seat belt and helped her to get out of the car.

The whole family, including a sulking Lizzy, came out a moment later to see us and the babies.

"Dude, you so need a bigger car," Jasper announced as he slipped three cigars in the top pocket of my shirt.

I hadn't even thought about the size of the car.

There was no way we could fit them all in the one I had.

"All in good time, Edward, let's just get in the house first," Bella said softly as she took hold of my hand.

Jasper, dad and I got the babies out of the car while Bella took hold of Lizzy's hand.

She was still ignoring us, but you could see the curiosity in her eyes as she looked over the babies in their car seats.

"Do they smell as bad as what uncle Jasper says they do?" she asked quietly as we walked into the house.

"Of course they do, they're babies and you were just as bad," Bella laughed happily as she sat down on the couch and pulled Lizzy into her side.

"I did not!" she protested, which made us all laugh.

Suddenly, looking around the food filled and overly decorated room, seeing my family and babies happy, I felt complete.


	19. Chapter 19

**BPOV**

The babies were three weeks old now, sleeping quite well and eating like there was no tomorrow.

Lizzy was now talking to us, but still hated the fact that she wasn't allowed a kitten, which we had firmly put our foot down about.

Okay, so I hadn't, I wanted to cave, but Edward was a godsend in my weaker moments.

And talking of weaker moments, I was currently laying on my side, in bed, watching his morning glory twitch, calling to me.

I still had three more weeks to go before I could do anything, but since when did I ever listen to the doctors?

Ever so slowly, I moved in the bed to come face to face with the _Rod of God_.

Yeah, that's what I called it.

I hated the whole thing of naming a cock, but I could make an exception in this case.

There it was, in all its glory, twitching, calling to me, pulling me in.

I wanted it like a starving man at an all-you-can-eat diner.

So I took it.

In my mouth of course.

I was just getting into my groove when Edward started making these noises that just spurred me on, making me work harder for him.

That was until he bucked and hit the back of my throat, causing me to gag and choke and not in a 'oh God that's sexy' porn shoot.

"Shit, Bella! Oh God, baby, I'm so sorry."

The Rod of God deflated.

Dammit!

~(*)~

I was sulking.

I.

Wanted.

Sex.

And could I have it?

Oh no, Emmett wouldn't let me.

The babies were now five weeks and three days old and I swear that Emmett was only saying no to piss me off.

And of course, if Emmett said no, Edward said no.

I was not impressed.

"Bella, have you changed the brand of coffee?" Edward asked as I dished up the breakfast.

"Nope," I smiled sweetly.

"What fat content is the milk? It tastes creamier than normal," he mused as I handed Lizzy her plate of bacon and eggs.

"I don't know," I shrugged with another smile.

"Bella, why are you looking at me like that?" he asked as he took another sip of his coffee.

I shrugged.

"Bella, is _this_? Bella, did _you_?" he stammered as he put the cup down like it would poison him.

On the plus side, feeding the babies was going really well and I even had enough spare milk to pump it off.

Well, he shouldn't have said no to me this morning.

"You gave _me breast milk!"_

~(*)~

**EPOV**

I could not believe that she did that.

Ah hell, this was Bella I was talking about, of course she would.

"Daddy, remember that I'm staying over at Lucy's tonight," Lizzy said as I waited with her to get the school bus.

Lucy was our next door neighbor's daughter and a little bit older than Lizzy. She was almost like a big sister for her, which was good.

"I remember," I smiled as I thought about how much bigger Lizzy looked now that the triplets were here.

She seemed to have shot up in size overnight.

Not something I was happy about.

I wanted her to stay my little girl for a while longer.

Once Lizzy was on the bus, I made sure I made time to have a few choice words with Bella before I went to work.

She was driving me insane.

Did she think that I didn't want her? Damn, I'd wanted her from day one and now even more so.

I found her in the bedroom getting dressed and I just stood there, mesmerized by her and her body.

I couldn't help it.

We were supposed to be going out for a meal tonight and Emmett had given us the go-ahead, even though he hadn't told her yet, and I was going to make sweet love to her all night, but not now.

Now I wanted to fuck the living hell out of her.

You see, before we even had sex, I had blue balls, but I didn't know any different because we'd never had sex, so I didn't know what I missing out on.

_Now_ I did of course, and I was _beyond_ gagging for it.

I wanted it, craved it, craved _her_.

I stalked over to where she was standing next to the dresser, in just her _thong_ no less, and spun her around on the spot to face me.

"Edwa-," she cried out, but I stopped her with my mouth, kissing her firmly.

It took all of two seconds for her to respond by threading her fingers through my hair and yanking my head down to her hers harder.

"Bed," I growled out as I started to walk us over to it, without letting her go.

It wasn't long before I hovered over her, desperate to keep in close contact with her.

"What are you doing?" she panted heavily as she pulled her lips from mine.

"You want it?" I asked, hardly recognizing my own voice.

"Yes!" she pleaded and within a second, I had pulled her thong to one side and slowly slipped into her, making sure she wasn't in any pain.

"Hot damn!" I cried out into the crook of her neck as she wrapped her legs high up on my waist, pulling me deeper into her.

"You can move now," she growled out as she swirled her hips.

And I did.

I thrusted, ground and swiveled my hips to bring her to pleasure, keeping the distance between our bodies to a minimum.

"Edward, please," she whimpered loudly in my ear before biting the tip of it.

Oh yeah, I liked my feisty Bella.

I gave her everything I could, pounding into her to an erratic rhythm, bringing her to orgasm before I let myself come.

~(*)~

"I was going to take you out to dinner tonight. Mom and dad are keeping the babies as Lizzy is going to be next door and I was going to make love to you all night," I mused as I stroked the hair on her head.

She was lying on my chest and we were enjoying the last few minutes of silence before the babies woke up for breakfast.

"I don't need any of that, Edward, I just need you," she said sweetly.

"I know, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to spoil you, is there?" I joked before I became serious, "There was another reason why I wanted to take you as well," I said as she lifted her head up to look at me.

"Oh? And what's that?" she asked sweetly as she kissed my nipple.

Damn vixen.

"I wanted to ask you to marry me."


	20. Chapter 20

_**One year later...**_

**BPOV**

"I swear to God, if you stick one more pin in me, I'll turn into a proper voodoo doll on your ass," I growled as the lady in the store blanched at me.

"MAM," Tallie called me from the floor, causing Nate and Lottie to start as well.

Honestly, they sounded like the seagulls from Finding Nemo.

_Mine, mine, mine!_

"Esme, could you give them some of those teething cookie peg thingies from my bag?" I said as I smiled at my babies.

They were a year old now and were causing havoc in this high end wedding shop.

Tough luck, if they wanted my money, they'd have to deal with my babies.

Simple as that.

Edward had proposed to me in the most perfect way for us, but I was making him wait a year before we did the deed.

That year would be up in a weeks' time.

I wanted to wait until the babies were older and weren't feeding from me so that we could enjoy a real honeymoon, sans breast milk.

It had worked out well, weaning them a few weeks ago and although they weren't too impressed with me, the babies took fine to bottles full time.

"Bella, will you hold still, the poor woman is going to have a heart attack if you keep on moving," Mom chastised me as she picked up Tallie from the floor.

"I need to pee, it's not my fault," I whined.

I blamed Edward actually.

He was randy as hell!

Oh yeah, now would be a good time to tell you that I was currently three months pregnant.

We're still debating about where the baby was conceived, but Edward insists it was when he went away with his dad on a golfing weekend and I snuck onto the golf course and had my way with him.

I disagreed and thought it was the time we set up the pool in the garden and we accidentally on purpose fell in and christened it.

Don't worry, we couldn't look at it again in the same way after that and told Lizzy that it had a hole in it and bought another one to replace it.

Either way, I was 'glowing' according to Edward.

Not so much to Emmett.

He gave us a huge lecture about falling pregnant so soon after a C-section and to make me suffer, I had to have weekly checks that the incision site was holding together.

I did feel bad about it though.

~(*)~

"I am not spending the night away from him," I growled out as I clasped my fingers tightly around Edward's left wrist.

"It's tradition," Alice hissed as she clamped his right wrist in her hand.

"He is staying with me. We haven't spent a night apart since his golfing weekend and I don't want to go through that again..."

"He is having a night away from here to spend it with his male bonding group, aka, the idiots of his family, for a stag night..."

"_He_ is right _here_ and will _continue_ to stay _here_ until the wedding tomorrow," Edward let out his own growl that set the hairs on the back of my neck on end.

I loved it when he growled.

Damn pregnancy hormones.

"But it's tradition!" Alice wailed this time as she let go of his wrist with a pout.

"Alice, when have we ever done anything by tradition?" I laughed as Edward wrapped his arms around me.

**~(*)~**

**EPOV**

Last night, we spent all night making love until the sun started to poke up in the sky.

I would have said that it was sweet and romantic, but it was far from that.

It was carnal.

We would have the rest of our lives to do the romantic side of things.

Now we just wanted to share what time we had together before the kids woke up.

To be honest, I couldn't wait to make Bella my wife and just the thought of her saying 'I do' brought out the animal in me.

I totally blame her.

And her pregnant body.

At least there was only one baby in there this time.

Put in there by yours truly.

Bella made sure to make Emmett scan her for ages, checking every 'nook and cranny' for another one.

There wasn't, thank God.

Don't get me wrong, I loved the babies fiercely, but God they took it out of me.

"Edward, you have to head over to the church," Mom said as she walked in the bathroom while I was half dressed.

"Mom!" I cried out, covering my chest with my shirt.

"Dear Lord Edward, you're a full grown man, grow up," she smirked as she pulled the shirt away from me, making me blush.

"I just wasn't expecting you to walk in, that's all," I muttered as I took it back and started to put it on.

"As I said, you need to hurry up," Mom muttered as she started to rummage through my things.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Looking for hairpins,"

"Why?" I asked.

"Because Lizzy's locked herself in the bathroom out there and we can't get the door open," she said hurriedly as she picked out some of Bella's pins and then walked back out of the room with no other words.

My daughter, on our wedding day, was locked in the bathroom.

I laughed and laughed hard.

You see, this was us.

If something _could_ go wrong, it _did_ and it was perfectly normal.

I finished getting ready and then went out to see if they had freed her yet.

They hadn't.

"Lizzy, you okay in there?" I called out and she gave me her happy reply.

She was perfectly fine.

"Are you going to escape before the wedding?" I chuckled as she shouted out a 'yes'.

I gave Bella a quick kiss before I left.

"I'll see you soon," I muttered against her lips, desperate to see what she had on under her dressing gown.

"I'll be the one in ivory," she giggled.

"I thought brides wore white?" I was puzzled.

"White, Edward? That stands for virginal," she giggled as she pointed at her tiny bump.

"Very true, I'll see you soon," I chuckled against her lips and then dragged myself away.

~(*)~

She was walking towards me.

In ivory.

The dress was perfect.

She was perfect.

I could have told you that I knew what songs we were singing, what prayers were said, but I couldn't.

All I could tell you was that she was breath taking and I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

Our vows were said, we kissed as husband and wife and then walked back up the aisle.

We danced, we laughed and Bella cried when it was time to say goodbye to the kids.

The whole time I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

We finally made it to the car that would take us on our honeymoon and I couldn't wait.

I put up the privacy screen and pulled Bella gently onto my lap.

"What's got into you?" she giggled as I fought my way through all the satin and lace.

"I want you, right now," I growled out against her neck.

And I had her, there and then, before we even pulled out of our road.

And once again before we got to the hotel.

We weren't going anywhere fancy, just a hotel in Seattle.

Bella didn't want to fly and I didn't care where we went as long as we were together.

And we were.

I thank the Lord daily that she fell into my life and demanded my sperm.

Okay, so not the most romantic way of meeting and falling in love, but this was us, we never did things the right way.

Or maybe we did.

The right way for _us_.

* * *

><p><strong>And that's all shoe wrote... kinda. I have an outtake around here somewhere that I need to find, but I'll have it up as soon as possible. <strong>

**Thanks for taking the time to read this and I'm sorry for all the mistakes, but I was pretty new at the writing thing when this happened. **

**See you all soon! ;)**


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